Serium's Powerlist of Stupid Bullshit

one day kyriaki woke up and decided to take a shit because hey he's kyriaki. so kyriaki went up to kazegen and said "kazegen i want you to be my shitter" and since kazegen was kyriaki's bitch he opened his mouth. kyriaki pulled down his stained briefs and began to shit in kazegen's mouth. kazegen was forbidden to express any emotions but at this moment he was feeling very aroused. kyriaki's face turned red as he grunted and strained to push his log of shit out of his ass. he farted and little shit particles flew into kazegen's eyes. kazegen's eyes teared up, not from the pain of the shit particles nor from the paint-peeling stench coming from kyriaki's unwashed ass, but from the sheer ecstasy of being kyriaki's shitter. kyriaki noticed this and began to grunt harder, teasing the horny beast. kyriaki noticed that kazegen was fiddling around with his dino-wiener, which had become quite erect. "stop that this instant" commanded kyriaki, noticing his own 2-incher was growing hard as well. kazegen whined and reluctantly lowered his hands. with a final grunt and a smelly fart, kyriaki's log of shit finally dropped from his ass into kazegen's mouth. kyriaki turned around and watched as kazegen chewed the shit log. "eat it bitch. eat it all" said kyriaki. kazegen pretended he hated doing this so much but his throbbing wiener and moans of joy told kyriaki otherwise. "swallow it" ordered kyriaki but kazegen didn't want to swallow it yet. he wanted to savor the shit. "SWALLOW IT RIGHT NOW" screamed kyriaki as he began wang-slapping kazegen across the face. kyriaki, hands on his hips, thrust his pelvis from side to side across kazegen's face, punishing the naughty dinosaur. "YOU DO WHAT kyriaki TELLS YOU" he screamed. after about fourty wang-slaps his wiener started to become sore so he stopped. by now the shit log had gone down kazegen's throat. "eggulate" he ordered. kazegen strained and produced an egg. inside this egg contained what was previously his shit log. kyriaki walked over to his shelf and placed it with the others. he had hundreds possibly thousands of these shit-eggs. he planned to use these against serium the next time he kidnapped michi. now there was only one thing left to do. kyriaki bent over and pointed his ass at kazegen who immediately knew what to do. he began to use his tongue to clean kyriaki's shitty ass. kyriaki couldn't hold it back. his peener let loose with some "italian ranch dressing." this brought kazegen to an orgasm as well. with both their wieners pleasantly limp and tingling they continued with the cleaning process. "don't forget to thorougly clean the dingleberries from the hairs" kyriaki advised. kazegen obeyed his master. ten minutes later kyriaki decided he was clean and put his clothes back on. now it was saigi's turn with kazegen. "yo saigi i got him warned up for you" kyriaki called as he walked out of the kazegen room. saigi walked in past him with a sly smile under his mustache and carrying an apple and a hot wheels car. "hello kazegen guess what time it is again" he said in a low voice as he locked the door behind him. kyriaki walked out into the kitchen ignoring kazegen's squeals of pain and joy, and poured himself a bowl of cereal. unfortunately he had forgotten to purchase milk, but he could improvise. he took out his wiener and peed into his cheerios. kyriaki sat down in front of the tv and began to eat his cheerios and pee while periodically scratching his balls. "hey these cheerios and pee aren't half bad" kyriaki said out loud and contemplated having another bowl before he realized that he was all out of pee. saigi had now returned, panting and sweating. "yo saigi let me borrow some of your pee" said kyriaki as he pointed the bowl at saigi's crotch. "gee kyriaki i don't know what you would want with my pee but sure" said saigi as he unzipped his overalls. saigi filled kyriaki's bowl but still had some more pee left in him. he took this opportunity to mark his territory around the house. first he peed on his side of the couch then he peed on his chair at the dining table. he only had a little pee left so he had to make this last one count. he looked around the room and spotted his brother. he ran up and peed on kyriaki, marking him as his own. "no one else can have you!" shouted saigi. kyriaki "accidentally" got some of saigi's pee in his mouth. kyriaki and saigi finished eating their cheerios with pee and decided to go for a walk in the park. they hooked kazegen up to his leash and took turns raping him during the walk to the park. by the time they arrived at the park all three of them were tuckered out and decided to just shit in the shade of the big oak tree. it seemed like today was going to be another peaceful day. however no one seemed to notice the eyes peering at them from inside the nearby bushes. kyriaki heard a rustle in the bushes. "who's there" he called out but there was no answer. "i'm warning you. you better show yourself. i got a dick and i know how to use it" he threatened while thrusting and pointing at his dick. saigi and kazegen were now getting into position too, thrusting and pointing at their own dicks. "you got till the count of three to come out" said kyriaki. "one" kyriaki and saigi unzipped their overalls. "two" they pulled out their quivering dicks. "THREE" kyriaki, saigi, and kazegen all leaped into the bushes, thrusting their dicks around. no one had any idea whether or not they were dicking the person in the bushes or just each other. there were many shouts and the occasional giggle. this went on for ten minutes before kyriaki took charge and threw everyone out of the bushes. kyriaki stepped out too and looked at the pile of sweat, semen, and shit covered bodies in front of him. kyriaki looked down at the man in front of him with a look of disgust on his face. "nevermind guys it's just that fat faggot serium" he said as saigi stood up and straightened his hat. "hey fuck you kyriaki" said serium, wiping a bit of feces out of his mustache. "i'm not the one who goes around raping people." kyriaki smirked as he watched the lump in serium's crotch start to grow larger. serium shifted his legs to try and hide the growing bulge but it was too late. saigi and kazegen had already noticed and were smirking as well. kazegen's wiener twitched. serium eyed it with apprehension, the bulge growing a little more rapidly now. serium was sweating, his heart beating rapidly. kazegen licked his lips. suddenly a gust of wind blew serium's hat off behind him. "aren't you going to bend over and pick it up serium" asked kyriaki with an evil grin. serium turned around and bent over to pick up his hat. he gave his ass a little shake as he did so and kazegen couldn't hold back anymore. he ran forward and shoved his now fully erect peener straight into serium's ass, ripping a hole through his overalls and underwear. serium gasped and tried to resist at first. "don't fight it" said kyriaki in a soothing voice "just relax and enjoy it. i have trained kazegen well" at this point a large group of IZ had gathered to the scene. the IZ closed in and formed a circle around the two fuckers. after any particularly deep thrusts by kazegen the IZ would erupt with cheers. the IZ started becoming aroused and began rubbing themselves. kazegen began thrusting harder and faster while serium had his 8-incher out and was stroking it. this pleased the IZ who began throwing coins at the two in between stroking their own peeners. kyriaki and saigi were quickly pocketing all the coins they could. the IZ dropped their pants and started jacking off furiously while serium groaned and screamed and jacked himself off as kazegen continued pounding his ass. serium had now ripped off all his clothes and his sweaty body glistened in the sun, his rolls of fat jiggling with every thrust. serium was red in the face and a small trickle of blood seeped from his anus but he paid no attention. the IZ were shrieking in ecstasy as they rubbed their tiny wangs, watching the spectacle before them. a good thirty minutes of ass-fucking and off-jacking had already passed by now. kyriaki gave the signal to kazegen (scratching his balls and sniffing his finger three times) telling him to wrap it up. kazegen got the signal and started pounding serium at a much faster rate. the IZ and serium increased their jacking off speed as well. the IZ yelled and shrieked as their wieners were starting to become raw and chafed but they couldn't stop. they knew in a few seconds it would all be over and there would be quite a mess. at the exact same instant everyone ejaculated. kazegen let loose his semen in serium's ass and serium's testicles released their contents onto the ground as all the IZ aimed their little wieners up into the air. strings of IZ-semen streamed out of their wieners into an arc and collided in one spot in the air before raining down on kazegen and serium. this all happened in less than a second but to serium it seemed like one blissful eternity. he and kazegen laid sprawled out on the ground covered in sticky semen and panting, kazegen's now flaccid wiener still in serium's hairy ass. kyriaki wiped little droplets of semen from his mustache as he surveyed the situation. saigi ran up to kazegen and pulled him out of serium's ass and began cleaning the semen off of him while a bottle of lotion was being passed around amongst the IZ to soothe their chafed and aching cocks. the IZ were chatting excitedly and kyriaki smiled as he heard some of them saying that this was the best performance yet. "uh kyriaki we got a problem here" saigi whispered. kyriaki looked over and saw the naked serium twitching on the ground and making nonsensical noises. the IZ gave one last cheer to kyriaki and then dispersed. kyriaki went over to serium and attempted to slap some sense into him. after a couple hard whacks across the face with kyriaki's wang serium woke up. he pushed kyriaki out of the way and ran straight to kazegen's cock. he began tugging on the cock and shouting "MORE MORE MUST HAVE MORE WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG" but try as he might the dinosaur's cock could not be aroused. kyriaki and saigi pulled serium away from kazegen. "RAAAAAHHHH ME WANT WANG ME WANT WANG RIGHT NOWWWWWW" "snap out of it faggot" said kyriaki but it didn't work. he was then struck with an idea. he had seen someone on tv throw water on another person to bring them to their senses. kyriaki had no water but he had the next best thing: pee. "hey if it works as milk it'll work as water" thought kyriaki remembering his bowl of cheerios earlier in the morning. he grabbed his dick and peed on serium's face. serium stopped screaming for wangs and started spitting as kyriaki's stream entered his mouth. "yo wtf" said serium. "stop going pee on me" said serium letting more urine go into his mouth although he made no effort to stop it. kyriaki's stream had come to a stop and he flicked the last few drops onto serium's face. "can you remember anything that happened" asked kyriaki. "yeah you dumbass any man would remember getting fucked up the ass by a kazegen while a bunch of IZ jacked off in a circle" then suddenly the pain hit him "OH MY ASS OH GOD IT HURTS SO BAD OWWWWW OW OW OW" kyriaki chuckled "yeah 30 minutes of ass-fucking will do that to ya" the dan clones and ren clones began arriving to the area. dan clones and ren clones feed on nothing but semen, urine, and fecal matter. there wasn't much fecal matter and only a little bit of urine but there was quite a bit of semen and the beasts were ready to take their fill. kazegen was flicking semen off of himself for some baby ren clones while saigi playfully pissed on a group of dan clones. kyriaki watched the feeding frenzy for a while before turning to serium. "you might want to get cleaned up serium" he said "they're going to sense the semen on you and start attacking." at this exact moment one of the ren clones sniffed the air and caught a whiff of semen-drenched serium. "oh shi-" the ren clone chased after serium trying to get to the semen and feces mixture in his butt. "HELP ME" screamed serium but no one helped him. however this caught the attention of some other ren clones and dan clones who also joined the chase for serium's ass. "damn it go away you fuckers" serium said to them but they didn't listen. then he came up with an idea. he grabbed his wang and started rubbing it in an attempt to ejaculate and get them to go after the semen and not his ass. "good thing i'm a professional speed-jacker" thought serium. within two minutes he ejaculated on the ground and ran in the other direction. "serium NOOOOOOOOOO" screamed kyriaki. some of the more stupid ren clones and dan clones went for the semen but the rest stayed still. their tiny and feeble brains were trying to make sense out of what they just saw. the fat man just shot food out of the thing between his legs. it could be assumed that the man could shoot more food out for them. the ren clones and dan clones began chattering wildly, communicating their newfound knowledge of how to gain food. they charged at serium, their sights on his dangling wiener. "kyriaki what's wrong" saigi asked noticing the worried expression on kyriaki's face. kyriaki sighed. "i was afraid of this" he said "the dan clones and ren clones, although stupid, are capable of learning if what they are learning is not too complex. when serium jacked off just now to lure them away some of them were able to figure out that semen comes from penises" saigi gasped. meanwhile serium was trying to fend off the creatures. more of them had joined the group and were attempting to surround serium. "YO SOMEONE HELP ME" he screamed but no one helped him. serium was starting to get worried. the ren clones and dan clones are usually easy to handle but they can be quite troublsome in large numbers and serium had a good dozen of them coming in on him right now. the other dan clones and ren clones were now making their way over to serium as well. no one was coming to help him. "YEAH FUCK YOU GUYS" he screamed. the dan clones were the first to reach him. they dive-bombed on him going straight for the peener. serium just barely managed to dodge them as they crashed into the ground. pools of blood formed underneath them as they lay on the ground twitching serium had one hand over his cock to protect it and was punching away ren clones with the other. however he was soon overpowered. he had ren clones and dan clones on all sides of him and more ren clones and dan clones coming in on him from the air. dan clones were clawing at his cock and ren clones were trying to force their way up his ass to get to the feces. all this stimulation was beginning to turn serium on. a microren clone had entered his ass and was crawling around the microren clone in serium's ass had made contact with his prostate and serium's dick went from flaccid to erect in .6 seconds. this sudden size increase scared the dan clones and ren clones and they all jumped back staring intently at the dick. serium took this opportunity to attack. he spun around in a circle hitting them with his dick and knocking them away. he was about to start punching them when suddenly the microren clone hit his prostate again and he dropped to his knees and started furiously masturbating. kyriaki turned to saigi and kazegen. "this is what we gotta do" he said "these ren clones and dan clones are the only ones that know about the source of the semen. we have to make sure that they do not leave and inform any others. we have to kill these ones or else they could rise up against us" he pulled out two fire flowers and handed one to saigi. they both then shoved the flowers up their asses to activate the power. then all three of them charged forward to where the ren clones and dan clones were once again advancing on the masturbating serium. kyriaki gave hand signals to saigi and kazegen to split up. saigi went to the left as kazegen went to the left and kyriaki kept going forward towards serium. a koopa ren clone was in a dive bomb straight for serium. kyriaki threw a fireball at it just before it hit kyriaki. the ren clone burst into flames and fell to the ground in front of serium who promptly splooged on it. a group of six hungry ren clones swarmed in and gobbled up the semen and the ren clone. serium's wiener went limp but immediately became hard again as the microren clone in his ass continued stimulating his prostate. "damn it serium will you stop jacking off" said kyriaki as he threw fireball after fireball to guard serium. "i can't help it" panted serium "there's something crawlin around in my ass and it feels sooooooo goooooood" he moaned and a smile crossed his face. meanwhile kazegen was eating up ren clones, laying eggs, and passing them over to saigi who caught them and threw them at the ren clones with one hand while fending off ground dan clones by throwing fireballs with his other hand. five minutes later the park was covered in smoke and the smell of semen and burning bodies and anal sex was ripe in the air. all of the dan clones and ren clones had been killed by now except for one: the microren clone in serium's ass. serium was rolling around on the ground jacking off as the little critter moved around in his ass. kyriaki although angry couldn't help but admire serium's endurance. he had been through a half hour of butt-fucking by kazegen, orgasmed three times within the last hour, and yet he was still masturbating. "serium QUIT SPANKING YOUR MONKEY" kyriaki screamed. "no" said serium. kyriaki produced a fireball in his hand and held it close to serium's wang. "ok ok i'll stop" he said as his wang became flaccid. kyriaki looked down at serium's wang and shuddered. "serium look at your wang man it's all red and dried out. there is a limit to how many times a man should jack off in one sitting and you have passed that limit." serium winced as the euphoria of the anal stimulation was wearing off. his wang, his poor wang was aching. his balls were aching too from the stress of outputting so much semen. but somehow it all seemed worth it. "alright now we have to get the last ren clone out of your ass" said kyriaki "bend over and i'll pull it out" serium pushed him away. "you're not sticking your hand up my ass you might shoot a fireball" he said while covering his asshole. he squatted down over the ground and grunted. he strained and groaned and screamed in pain. "you need to eat more fiber" said saigi as he and kazegen walked up and watched serium trying to shit out the microren clone. saigi walked around behind serium. "i can see it!" he exclaimed. kyriaki and kazegen ran over to join him. sure enough the little ren clone's head was sticking out of serium's asshole. serium drew in a breath and gave a hearty push. with a loud fart the ren clone fell out of his ass along with a sizable chunk of poop and some semen. kyriaki picked up the microren clone and examined it. "it appears to have suffocated inside serium's ass" he said, engulfing it in flames to make sure it was really dead. he turned to serium who was still shitting on the ground. "serium you probably shouldn't jack off for a couple days" said kyriaki "give your dick some time to heal and your testicles some time to produce more sperm" serium finished shitting then used his hat to wipe his ass. as he placed it back on his head he said "i'll jack off as much as i want" kyriaki just shrugged and motioned to saigi and kazegen that it was time to leave. as he was about to leave he turned to serium and flicked a spark onto his pubes. he turned away and walked off down the path as serium's screams faded into the background when they arrived back home that evening the first thing kyriaki did was get naked. he peeled off his sticky, shitty, semeny briefs and sighed. he went over and stood in front of the fan to air out his genitals. soon the whole house was full of the smell of kyriaki's dirty balls. kazegen's wang perked up but kyriaki scolded him. "no kazegen" he said "you had a long day full of fucking and jacking off not to mention the battle. you remember what happened the last time you used your wang too many times." kazegen gulped. he certainly did remember. his wang was so swollen that he couldn't fit it up anyone's ass for a whole week. he sighed and his dick became soft again. kyriaki sat at his desk and started counting the coins he and saigi had gathered from the IZ during that afternoon's performance. the total added to be $439 which was better than last week's performance by a considerable amount. "hey saigi" he called out to his brother who was busy cooking dinner in the kitchen "we made so much money we can afford to buy some new underwear finally." saigi cheered. both brothers were down to one pair each, the pairs they were wearing. coupled with saigi's bedwetting and kyriaki's irritable bowel syndrome their briefs were not looking pretty. saigi came out of the kitchen ten minutes later and placed dinner on the table. "tonight we are having chicken mcnuggets with my special sauce" said saigi with a giggle "and for dessert we are having some smarties i found" kyriaki walked up and sat down at the table. kazegen eyed saigi's sauce and licked his lips. "no kazegen bad boy" said saigi "here is your food" and he handed kazegen a plate with a nice steaming shit log on it. "fresh from the factory" said saigi, patting kazegen on the head. kazegen ran off to eat his dinner behind the couch while saigi joined kyriaki at the table. "saigi how old are these mcnuggets" asked kyriaki, closely examining his half-eaten mcnugget. "well the last time we had mcdonald's was a month ago so it's at least that old" said saigi as he dipped his mcnugget in his sauce. "well it's not half bad" kyriaki said "your sauce is especially tasty today too" saigi beamed with pride. "would you like some more" he asked. kyriaki nodded and handed saigi his sauce container. "no wait kyriaki" said saigi, unzipping his fly "i want to see if i can hit it from here" saigi pulled out his already hard dick and started stroking it. kyriaki held his sauce container close to saigi's dick. "no kyriaki move it back farther i think i can get it" he said. kazegen heard the sounds of saigi jacking off and came into the room. he watched saigi jack off for a few seconds then moved toward his dick. "sorry kazegen this isn't for you" saigi said. kazegen's head drooped and he walked off into the other room but he peeked his head around the doorway to watch. saigi was jacking off faster now. "get ready kyriaki" he said. kyriaki held up the sauce container. saigi moaned and his eyes went back in his head. a wide smile crossed his face. "HERE I GOOOOOOOOOOOO" he yelled as he splooged/ his splooge traveled in an arc and came down right into kyriaki's sauce container. kyriaki applauded his brother "good job little bro" he said, dipping a mcnugget into the sauce. saigi smiled, panting. "best aim this side of the mississippi" he said. they both finished their chicken mcnuggets and saigi brought out the smarties for dessert. "oh no" he said "there's five smarties. we can't divide these evenly" he looked at kyriaki with tears in his eyes. kyriaki thought hard for a few seconds then came up with an idea. "we'll play the boner game" said kyriaki "winner gets the last smartie" the rules of the boner game are quite simple: the loser is the person who gets a boner first. saigi unzipped his overalls and pulled out his cock while kyriaki being still naked just gripped his. kazegen once again came running into the room, looking happily from one cock to the other. "kazegen no interfering. we're playing the boner game" said kyriaki. kazegen started crying. there were cocks out and semen on the table but none of it was for him. he ran out of the room crying and peeing. kyriaki started the countdown "3, 2, 1, BONER" and the game was on. they both sat there for five minutes before saigi made the first move. he moved his wiener around in a clockwise motion. "follow my wiener as it rotates" he said in his best hypnotist voice "you are getting horny. very horny." he looked down at kyriaki's wiener but it wasn't working. "sorry saigi but it's gonna take more than that to give me a boner" said kyriaki with a smug grin on his face. saigi stopped rotating his wiener and began thinking of a new course of action. kyriaki farted and used his hands to fan the scent towards saigi. saigi got a whiff of kyriaki's fart and sat upright and trembled. kyriaki farted a second time and fanned the scent over to him again. saigi's cock twitched. he gasped and quickly covered his nose. kyriaki chuckled and farted again. "ooh this was a wet one" he said. saigi's cock was starting to become hard now but it only counts as a loss if he has a full, rock-hard boner. saigi took in a deep breath to steady himself then stopped. he could taste the fart in his mouth and it tasted good. saigi's dick was slowly growing hard. he tried thinking of things disgusting to take away his boner but he couldn't. everything turns saigi on. kyriaki meanwhile was going around the room closing the windows to trap in the scent of his farts. he went up to saigi, shoved his ass in his face, and let loose with a wet 15-second fart. saigi's face was moist and foul smelling and he loved it. he grabbed his dick and ran around the room jacking off and breathing in the farty air. kyriaki grabbed the last smartie on the table and ate it. he savored it and relished in his victory. "saigi you know you've never beaten me in the boner game" said kyriaki. "i knooOOOOOW" said saigi as he splooged on the carpet. kazegen came running in and licked it up before anyone could tell him not to this time. "alright kazegen it's bed time" said kyriaki. bed time was kazegen's least favorite time of the day. bed time meant that there would be no more fucking until morning. kyriaki dragged kazegen down the hall kicking and screaming and peeing. "kazegen shut the fuck up" ordered kyriaki "and stop pissing everywhere" but kazegen continued on. "oh that's it" said kyriaki as he grabbed his wang and aimed at kazegen. "it's a pee war now" he said as he shot his stream at kazegen. kazegen retaliated with a short spurt of pee directly into kyriaki's nose. kyriaki jumped over kazegen and peed in his butt. kazegen spun around in an attempt to get another blast in at kyriaki but kyriaki was quicker. kyriaki grabbed kazegen's head and stuck his wang into his mouth and released his warm golden stream. kazegen stopped fussing and closed his eyes and purred as he drank the pee. kyriaki called for saigi to come help him carry kazegen into his room. kazegen continued sucking on kyriaki's wiener despite the flow of pee having stopped. they carried the dinosaur over to his bed and set him down gently. "give me the dildo" whispered kyriaki. saigi found the dildo and handed it to kyriaki. the dildo was an exact replica of kyriaki's own wiener. kyriaki held it right next to his wiener and quickly took his out and put the dildo in kazegen's mouth. kazegen squirmed for a second then became still again. kyriaki and saigi walked out of the kazegen room and locked the door. "he sure is cute when he's sucking dicks isn't he" said saigi. kyriaki said nothing to this. he walked over to the couch and sat down. suddenly he got a whiff of something foul. at first he thought it was just his crotch but after sniffing around for a few seconds he noticed it was coming from behind him. not from his ass but from behind the couch. he looked behind it and saw the remnants of kazegen's shit dinner. there was a good one-third of the shit left. his stomach growled. kyriaki picked up the leftover shit and started to eat it. he couldn't believe the taste. he had tasted shit before, eaten it every now and then, but that shit was always fresh. this shit had been sitting there for a while and had hardened a bit. the outside was nice and crunchy but the inside was still a little soft. it still retained most of the flavor and had even picked up some of the flavor from his earlier farts. he contemplated sharing it with saigi then decided against it. he gobbled it all up and licked the plate clean. he made a mental note to make this dish again sometime. after watching cartoons for a while kyriaki decided to head to bed. saigi was already sound asleep so kyriaki quietly slipped into bed beside him. he kissed saigi on the nose and drifted off into dream land. the next morning he woke up to the bed soaking wet. "damn it saigi did you wet the bed again" said kyriaki. saigi mumbled and rolled over. kyriaki sighed and got out of bed, his body moist and smelling of urine. he thought about taking a shower but decided to just spray deodorant all over his body. when he got to his dick he screamed in pain as some of it went up his peehole. saigi awoke with a start and hopped out of bed assuming his fighting position. he saw kyriaki hopping up and down holding his dick and shouting. "what's wrong" asked saigi urgently. "WHAT'S WRONG? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S WRONG I SPRAYED DEODORANT UP MY PEEHOLE THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG" kyriaki shouted. saigi ran into the kitchen and got a glass of water then ran back to kyriaki who was rolling on the floor in agony. "quick kyriaki stick your dick in this water" saigi said. kyriaki stuck his dick into the water which shrunk upon contact with it. "HOLY SHIT THIS IS COLD AS FUCK" kyriaki screamed. he swirled his now very tiny dick around in the water. "how is this supposed to help me" said kyriaki, his teeth chattering. "the cold water will numb your dick thereby taking away the pain" said saigi. kyriaki noticed saigi was right. he couldn't feel the pain anymore but he couldn't feel his dick at all either. he didn't like this. he liked to be aware of his dick at all times. kyriaki took his dick out of the water and cupped his hands around it to warm it up. saigi took the glass and asked "are you done with the water." kyriaki nodded as he rubbed his dick, not to whack off but to help warm it up. saigi took a swig of the water and licked his lips. "hey kyriaki i have invented a new beverage: dickwater" he said with a giggle. "hey give me a drink" said kyriaki. he took a sip of the water. "hmm you could have something here" he said. then suddenly a jolt of pain shot through his dick. "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH FUCK" kyriaki took a few deep breaths to steady himself. "i'm gonna go take a pee and see if that helps" he said. he walked into the bathroom with saigi following him and stood in front of the toilet. "kyriaki lift the seat" said saigi sternly. kyriaki groaned and lifted the seat. he forced a short stream out then stopped, shrieking in pain. "AAAAHHHHHHHHH MY FUCKING WIENER THIS HURTS SO FUCKING BAD" but he gritted his teeth and forced more pee out. "RRRRRRAAAAAAAAHHH WHYYYYYYY" five long, painful minutes later kyriaki had finally emptied his bladder. he fell to his knees panting. his cock felt better now but it still stung a little. on the other side of the house they could hear kazegen clawing at his door and yelling. kazegen had no idea what was going on but he heard his master screaming and he was scared. kyriaki looked into the toilet at his pee. it was a different color, sort of orange. "blood" whispered kyriaki. kyriaki got up and walked out of the bathroom. "kyriaki we need to get you to a doctor" said saigi. kyriaki turned to his brother "but saigi you're forgetting i am a doctor" he said. he pointed to his stethoscope, white jacket, and the shiny thing that goes around his head that were in the corner of the room. saigi crossed his arms "kyriaki you and i both know you're not really a licensed medical physician" but kyriaki chose to ignore these words. he put on his doctor outfit and walked into his lab. kyriaki gathered his chemicals and sat himself down at his lab desk. he took a test tube and began mixing chemicals. he mixed a red chemical with a bubbly clear chemical and produced a golden chemical. he stuck his dick in the concoction and giggled as a tingling feeling ran up his dick. it gave him a boner which made his dick hurt even more. he set this mixture aside for later dick-tingling when his dick wasn't in pain. kyriaki spent the greater part of the day trying to mix up something that will heal his poor peener. he was getting mad now. "maybe saigi's right. maybe i do need a real doctor" he said, lowering his head. then he noticed his fake medical diploma on the wall and perked up. "no" he whispered "i CAN do this." in the other room saigi sat crying with kazegen on the couch "what if his peener never heals kazegen" sobbed saigi "what will we do then" kazegen tried to cheer saigi up by licking his balls but saigi was just too sad finally at exactly 1:27 a.m. kyriaki mixed two liquids together and stuck his cock in the mixture. the pain in his cock subsided. "what the" he looked at the two liquids he mixed. one beaker read "sulfuric acid" and the other read "serium's urine sample, 1993" kyriaki took his cock out of the test tube and waited. the pain did not return. he pissed out a small stream and again there was no pain. "dr. kyriaki has done it again" kyriaki said to himself. saigi and kazegen were asleep on the couch, saigi using kazegen's nads as a pillow. "I DID IT I DID IT" kyriaki screamed as he ran into the room with his dick hanging out. saigi awoke with a start, accidentally headbutting kazegen in the balls. kazegen shrieked in pain and fell to the ground and grabbed his poor balls. "guys i discovered the cure to my dick problem" kyriaki said. saigi cried tears of joy and kazegen cried tears of pain. saigi got close and examined kyriaki's wiener. "hmm looks as good as new" he said. kyriaki squirted a bit of pee on saigi's face. "oops" said kyriaki with a smirk. "kyriaki this is no time to be fooling around" said saigi sternly "this time you were lucky but next time it could be worse." "yeah whatever" said kyriaki "let's just go to bed" kyriaki and saigi locked kazegen in his room again. this time it was easier because his balls hurt too much to put up a fight. then they stripped down and hopped into bed together. with a goodnight kiss the two brothers went to sleep. kyriaki woke up the next day with morning wood. "well i might as well celebrate the curing of my dick" he thought to himself. saigi was still asleep and surprisingly didn't wet the bed this time so kyriaki tried to be quiet about it. however this was the first time kyriaki had gone 24 hours without jacking off in fourteen years and he couldn't help but squeal in delight. kyriaki closed his eyes as he brought himself to an orgasm right into saigi's mustache. kyriaki rubbed saigi's mustache in an attempt to get the semen out but this only made the semen seep deeper into the mustache. kyriaki just shrugged and got out of bed and got dressed. he went into the kitchen and looked for something to eat for breakfast. like always the kitchen had very little food in it. in fact, it was empty. he looked under the fridge and found a few saltines. he sat down at the table when saigi walked in. saigi had a puzzled look on his face. "what's wrong saigi" asked kyriaki. "i think something's wrong with my mustache" saigi said, sitting down and helping himself to a saltine "it's pretty stiff today" "maybe your mustache has a boner" said kyriaki, although he knew the real reason was the semen that had hardened. "ha ha very funny" said saigi sarcastically and he got up to let kazegen out of his room. "kyriaki HELP kazegen'S GONE CRAZY" yelled saigi. kyriaki got up and ran down the hall, then ran back to eat the rest of the saltines, then ran back down the hall. saigi was backed into a corner with his hands over his face while kazegen was desperately trying to get at it. "HE'S TRYING TO GET MY MUSTACHE HELP" saigi screamed. kyriaki ran up and grabbed kazegen by the neck and started strangling him. then he kicked him in the nuts and threw him to the ground. he jumped up and body slammed kazegen a couple times and punched him in the nuts. "kyriaki stop hurting kazegen" saigi said. kyriaki punched kazegen a couple more times and stood up, panting. kazegen was on the ground holding his balls and crying. kyriaki spat on kazegen and turned to saigi. "are you ok" he asked and helped him to his feet. "yes kyriaki" saigi said. then he started crying and grabbed kyriaki "oh kyriaki i was so scared" he sobbed "i thought he was going to bite my mustache off or something. oh man i don't know what i would do if something happened to my mustache" kyriaki felt uneasy. he wondered if he should tell saigi that he splooged in his mustache "saigi i have a confession to make" said kyriaki "this morning i woke up with morning wood and decided to jack off and i accidentally splooged in your mustache. i tried to clean it but it just went deeper into your mustache. kazegen must have sensed the semen and tried to get at it" he sighed and scratched his balls. "hmm so that would explain the subtle scent of semen everywhere i go" said saigi. "don't you owe someone else an apology" said saigi. "oh yeah" said kyriaki. he got close to saigi's mustache and said "i'm sorry sperm. i'm sure one day i will actually jizz in something that is capable of producing babies." saigi crossed his arms over his chest. "kyriaki you know who i'm talking about" kazegen looked up at kyriaki with tears in his eyes, clutching his balls. kyriaki sighed and scratched his ass. he sniffed his finger and sighed again. "i'm sorry kazegen" he finally said. kazegen smiled and saigi nodded his head approvingly. kyriaki helped kazegen to his feet and the three of them walked back into the kitchen hand in hand. kazegen's balls were starting to get swollen and he whimpered in pain as he walked. "kazegen stop being a wuss and grow some balls" said kyriaki. "his balls are the whole reason he's in pain" said saigi. "shut up" said kyriaki. saigi searched through the cupboards then sighed. "yo kyriaki we gotta go to the store one of these days" he said. kyriaki hopped on kazegen, who buckled under the immense weight of kyriaki and slammed his balls into the floor, and commanded "to the store." kazegen stuggled to stand up and took three steps before falling to the ground again. "kazegen this is not the store. this is still our kitchen" said kyriaki. kazegen noticed a bit of anger in kyriaki's voice and tried his best to stand up. "kyriaki i don't think this is gonna work" said saigi. "kazegen's just not trying hard enough" said kyriaki and he kicked kazegen sharply in the sides. kazegen yelped and stood to his feet, wobbling a little. he kicked kazegen again and he took a few steps before stopping again. then kyriaki noticed kazegen's ball-hair and had an idea. kyriaki swatted the flies away from kazegen's scrotum and grabbed a hair. he yanked the hair out and kazegen howled in pain and started running full speed out the door. kyriaki held on to kazegen as hard as he could as he ran down the street. "WATCH OUT" kyriaki called out to a group of IZ children playing, but it was too late. kazegen continued forward and trampled them, leaving bloody footprints in his wake. kyriaki took off his hat and bowed his head in respect. "although they did deserve it for playing in the middle of the street" said kyriaki. kazegen was now making his way through the park. they passed by the place where kazegen and serium had their anal fun. the dead dan and ren clone bodies were nowhere to be seen now and the only signs that anything had happened here were a few scorch marks on the ground. kazegen's pace was starting to slow down. kyriaki reached down to pull out another one of kazegen's scrotum hairs but he was having a hard time. kazegen's nutsack was was moist with sweat and so were the hairs which slipped out from between kyriaki's fingers. kyriaki used his shirt sleeve to dry kazegen's sac and pulled out another hair. kazegen squealed and quickened his pace again. after five minutes he slowed down again and kyriaki figured it was time for a different approach. "alright kazegen stop" kyriaki called out. kazegen screeched to a halt and fell to the ground, panting. "we made some good progress but we're not there yet" said kyriaki. kazegen looked wearily up at kyriaki and shook his head before it flopped down onto the ground again. "i know what you need" said kyriaki as he began stripping naked. kyriaki stuck his dick in kazegen's nose and pissed. kazegen panicked at first and shook his head around to get kyriaki's dick out but kyriaki grabbed and stroked kazegen's head reassuringly. kazegen finally calmed down as the piss made it's way through kazegen's nose and trickled down his throat. kazegen popped a boner so fast it hit kyriaki in the knee and he lost his balance, tumbling backwards onto the ground, his dick wildly spraying piss in all directions. kazegen helped kyriaki to his feet and pointed at kyriaki's wiener. "sorry kazegen i'm all out of pee" said kyriaki. kazegen sighed and lowered his head, then perked up and pointed to kyriaki's wiener, madking masturbation motions and opening his mouth and pointing at it. "no kazegen you don't get anything else until we get to the store" said kyriaki as he got dressed again. kyriaki took his time getting dressed to torment kazegen. finally he buttoned his overalls and hopped onto kazegen's back. kazegen, now fueled by pee and the prospect of semen, was able to stand underneath kyriaki's weight and began running at full speed again. ten minutes later they approached the store. the sign on the front of the building read "naya's bitchin store" kazegen skidded to a halt in front of the door and flopped onto the ground panting. he grabbed kyriaki's crotch and opened his mouth. "no kazegen not know. we have to get the food" said kyriaki. kazegen sighed and stood up and the two of them walked in. kyriaki grabbed a cart and kazegen playfully hopped in it. "kazegen get the hell out" said kyriaki, pushing the cart over. with a crash the cart fell to the ground and kazegen slid across the floor, knocking over a display of douches. "BAD kazegen" screamed kyriaki. he ran up to kazegen, his face red with anger. the whole store was now watching the two of them. "bend over" he said through clenched teeth. kazegen squealed with delight and bent over, wiggling his ass around in front of kyriaki's crotch. what kazegen expected was not what he got. kyriaki kicked kazegen in the ass so hard bits of poop came out. kazegen's boner died as quickly as it had sprung to life and he went sliding across the floor again, this time into the wall. kyriaki kicked the air to flick the poop from his shoe onto some of the other shoppers. "what are you all staring at" he said "the show's over. scram. beat it" kazegen's head perked up at the words "beat it." the other customers resumed their shopping as if nothing had happened. they knew that if you fuck with kyriaki, you get fucked. literally. "kazegen get over here" said kyriaki and kazegen quickly got up and ran over to his master. "alright kazegen no more fooling around we're on a mission here" said kyriaki as he started rummaging through his pockets for the shopping list. "don't tell me i forgot the shopping list" said kyriaki as he turned his pockets inside-out and even checked underneath his nutsack. kazegen checked underneath his nutsack too and surprisingly there it was. the ink was a little smeared from sweat but it was still legible. "good boy kazegen" said kyriaki and he gave kazegen a pat on both his heads. kyriaki grabbed the shopping cart and kazegen resisted the urge to jump in it. they took off down the aisle to get the first item on the list: corn. the two of them walked down the corn aisle and looked over all the different types of corn. kyriaki handed kazegen an ear of corn and said quietly "here eat this quick" kazegen obeyed this command and swallowed it in one bite. "now poop" ordered kyriaki. kazegen happily obeyed and pushed hard and produced a smelly log of poop. kyriaki examined the log and poked through it. "hmm a good amount of corn passed through" said kyriaki "yes this will be fine" and he began piling corn into the cart. kyriaki crossed corn off the list and looked at the next item while kazegen chowed down on the shit. "alright kazegen next we gotta get some laxatives" said kyriaki and off they went down to the laxatives aisle. kyriaki perused the different brands of laxatives and picked one out. "super pooper industrial-strength laxatives huh" he said as he stroked his chin "comes in three fun flavors: poopy peppermint, crappy cranberry, and feces fun fruit" kyriaki thought about this before calling kazegen over and placing a crappy cranberry laxative in his mouth. kazegen stood there for a few seconds while kyriaki stared at him. after a six seconds kazegen shrugged and kyriaki sighed. "so much for being industrial-strength" he said. he was just about to put the box of laxatives back on the shelf when suddenly kazegen clutched his abdomen and fell to his knees. he ripped a loud fart and his asshole opened wide to let out a torrent of liquid poop. this wasn't just diarrhea which usually has a bit of texture to it. this was like water, only brown and smelly. the shitwater was beginning to form a sizable puddle on the floor. "kazegen stop" ordered kyriaki. kazegen managed to clench his asshole shut for a few seconds but it quickly burst open sending a high-powered stream of shit four feet behind him. "kazegen STOP" bellowed kyriaki but kazegen just couldn't stop it. kyriaki rushed behind kazegen and tried to force his asshole shut himself. he plunged his fist straight into kazegen's asshole. kyriaki felt the pressure building up from within kazegen's ass. kyriaki's felt the shitwater slowly pushing his fist outward. kazegen himself was beginning to swell up like a water balloon but with shit. kyriaki noticed this and quickly pulled his fist out of kazegen's asshole for fear of kazegen popping. with kazegen's anus now free of blockage a high-pressured stream of shit gushed out straight into kyriaki's chest and sending him flying backwards. kazegen was beginning to panic. he had never shat this much before and he spun around in confusion spraying the shitwater everywhere. kyriaki got up off the ground and tried to run towards kazegen but slipped on the shitty floor and fell forward. he got up again and spat out some shit but then licked his lips and put more shit in his mouth and tried to make his way over to kazegen. kazegen was scared and confused and didn't know what to do. he pointed his ass into the air and the stream of shit flowed up and hit the ceiling fan making a shower of poop. kazegen's feces fountain began losing some of its pressure but the flow still continued on. screams could be heard throughout the store and kyriaki was certain he could hear sirens in the distance. "kazegen we gotta get out of here man" said kyriaki. kazegen bit his lip and pushed as hard as he can and let loose with a loud fart that sent a huge wave of diarrhea shot out of his ass. he sighed with a look of great relief on his face as a few drops of poop dripped from his asshole. with the flow of fecal matter now stopped kyriaki and kazegen ran away from the scene of the shit but not before kyriaki piled some boxes of the laxatives into their cart. "we gotta get as far away from here as possible" kyriaki said. after running down a few aisles kyriaki could still hear the sound of shit dripping. he looked over his shoulder and noticed that kazegen's anus was still leaking shit. a trail of shit stretched from the main disaster area all the way to where they were now. kyriaki grabbed a box of tampons from the shelf and handed it to kazegen. kazegen stuffed a few of the tampons up his ass to stop his flow. he and kyriaki continued running away towards the other side of the store when they turned a corner and found themselves face to face with a couple of cops. "whoa whoa whoa, what's the hurry kids" asked one of the officers who had a visible wet spot on the front of his pants. the other officer placed his hand on his gun and chewed his gum menacingly. kyriaki quickly tried to think of something to say. "i asked you a question kid. quit jackin off and answer me" said the officer. "we've heard reports about a massive amount of shit somewhere in the store. you kids wouldn't happen to know anything about this would you" asked the other officer. he eyed kyriaki and kazegen who were both covered in shit. "well now that you mention it officer there did seem to be a bit of shit in the laxative aisle" said kyriaki "in fact that's what we were running from." the two cops glanced at each other. "alright kid why don't you take us to this laxative aisle since you seem to know so much around here" said the wet officer. "yeah sure. come on kazegen" said kyriaki. they turned around and were about to start walking towards the shit area when the cop suddenly yelled "HOLD IT." kyriaki and kazegen stopped moving. "what does your green friend have in his ass" asked the cop. kyriaki started turning around when he heard the sound of a gun cocking. kyriaki froze and said calmly "they're tampons officer." the cops slowly circled around kyriaki and kazegen with their guns pointed at kazegen's ass. the wet cop got close and examined kazegen's ass. he gave it a sniff and drew back, gagging. the other officer went up and pulled the tampons out. they were brown, smelly, and dripping. he twirled them around a bit and little droplets of poop flew onto his face. he spat out his gum and put another stick in his mouth and said "alright kids you're coming with me" he grabbed kyriaki and kazegen and dragged them down the aisle. the cop led them silently through the store. he took them to the tampon aisle and searched through the different brands of tampons. he found a box and handed it to kazegen. "i've found this to be the best brand of tampons to use when you got a case of the ol' wet and nasties" he said with a chuckle. kyriaki just stood there confused. he thought he was being arrested. "go ahead try em out" the cop said to kazegen. "trust me they work great" and he pulled down his pants and turned around to show a tampon string sticking out of his ass. "takehiko pull up your pants" said the other cop as he joined them, now with a bigger wet spot on his pants. he noticed kyriaki staring at the wet spot and said "yeah i piss my pants a lot. do you want to make something of it" he pointed his gun at kyriaki's dick. "no no no" said kyriaki covering his dick with his hands. "alright now take us to the shit. and damn it takehiko i said pull up your pants" takehiko who was showing kazegen the proper technique to stick a tampon up his ass sighed and pulled up his pants. "damn would you look at all this shit" said the officer as they approached the shit zone. the wet spot on his crotch grew even larger. "hey umeko you're pissing again" said takehiko but umeko just shrugged. he turned to kyriaki and said "alright kid you say you didn't see who caused all this shit is that correct" kyriaki stroked his chin and then his dick "you know now that you mention it i think i did see someone" he said. kyriaki cleared his throat and said "i'm certain i saw a man i know named serium running away naked with shit dripping from his ass hairs." the cops huddled together to discuss this. "so we're looking at charges of public indecency, public shitting, and going unwiped" said umeko. "he's probably gay too" said takehiko. "yeah you'd have to be gay to do something like this" said umeko as he wrote down the charges. "so that's four charges if we can confirm he's gay. he's looking at quite a few years in jail. possibly death penalty." "do you happen to know where this serium fellow lives" asked officer umeko. "well actually officer i don't think serium has a home but i do know that every sunday he goes down to the library and shits in the children's reading area" said kyriaki. that part wasn't a lie. serium has been doing that for years and hasn't been caught once. "what in the fuck" exlaimed officer takehiko. "don't worry son we'll get this guy locked up behind bars" said officer umeko, patting kyriaki on the shoulder and he and officer takehiko ran off to apprehend serium kyriaki sighed and wiped the sweat off his forehead. "that was a close one" he said. kazegen sighed too and wiped the sweat off his balls. "alright kazegen let's see what's next on the list" kyriaki said as he took the now shit covered list out of his pocket. "uhhh" he turned the list around and flipped it over a few times "shit there's too much shit on it" he threw the paper onto the floor in anger. kazegen tried peeing on it to wash the shit off but since it was diarrhea the paper had absorbed it. "it's ok kazegen we'll just have to do without the list" said kyriaki. he and kazegen walked up and down the aisles picking out products at random. some of these products went into the cart while others kyriaki had kazegen eat to lay as eggs later so he could sneak them out without paying. they started walking to the checkout line when they passed by the restrooms. kazegen sniffed the air outside the door of the men's room and tapped kyriaki on the shoulder. kyriaki sighed and said "ok kazegen but make it quick" he opened the door and kazegen happily rushed into the bathroom, sliding on the pee covered floor. kazegen lapped up a small puddle of pee underneath the two urinals before drinking out of the unflushed urinals directly. "hey kazegen there's some piss in the sink too" said kyriaki. kazegen squealed in delight and ran over to the sink to drink that up. kazegen finished drinking out of the pee sink and looked at the stalls. he sniffed the air and decided that the first stall smelled appetizing and headed for it. he kicked open the door and lifted the lid of the toilet. a bunch of flies flew out and kyriaki caught a whiff of something foul. he peeked into the stall as kazegen began chowing down on the contents of the toilet. at first kyriaki wondered why the inside of the stall was brown while the outside was blue until he noticed the walls were dripping. it wasn't brown colored, it was shit covered. kyriaki watched as kazegen cheerfully slurped at the walls of the stall and returned them to their proper blue color. after he finished with that stall he hopped over the wall into the neighboring stall. from the stall came a shout "YO MAN WHAT DA FUCK" and then a scream kyriaki crawled under the wall into the other stall to see what the hell was going on. he looked up to see kazegen biting down on the arm of a black man. "YO WHAT DA FUCKIN FUCK YOU DOIN MAN" screamed the black man, flailing his arm around to get kazegen off. he spotted kyriaki pushing himself under the stall and screamed again. kazegen bit off a chunk of his arm and chewed happily before spitting it out in disgust and puking on the black man. the black man jumped over the stall door and tried to run out of the restroom. however since the floor was wet with urine he slipped and fell to the ground, cracking his skull on the hard floor. kazegen helped kyriaki to his feet and they walked out to check out the black man. a puddle of blood was growing underneath his head. his pants were around his ankles and his small wang was exposed. "hmm i thought they had big ones" kyriaki thought to himself. the flies that usually buzzed around kazegen's ass now moved over to the dead black man. kazegen had a confused look on his face and kyriaki understood why. "kazegen this is what we call a nigger. i know niggers are the same color as shit and even smell like shit but they are not actually made of shit. i made that mistake too a long time ago so don't be ashamed. now let's get out of here before we get caught." he gave kazegen a pat on the head and together they left the restroom hand in hand. they walked to the checkout line where they were stuck behind an old woman who had shit her pants. "oh my bowels just ain't what they used to be" she said to the cashier. "ma'am we've been talking about this for the past 30 minutes now do you have any items for me to ring up or not" asked the cashier trying to suppress his anger. "i don't have any money" said the old woman with tears in her eyes "nobody will hire me on account of my bowels not being what they used to be" there was the sound of liquid hitting the ground. "woops there goes the ol' bladder" kyriaki was beginning to get pissed off. he wanted to get out of this place before they broke any other laws. in the middle of the old woman's discussion with the cashier about her frequent sharting he kicked the old woman square in the ass sending the woman forward and green smelly shit splattering everywhere. the cashier heaved a sigh of relief and spoke into his microphone "cleanup at checkout 3." then he noticed kazegen was already eating up the shit and said "cancel cleanup." he gagged as the smell of the shit hit his nostrils and motioned for kyriaki's items he started scanning kyriaki's items. when he got to the 20th box of industrial-strength laxatives he looked up intending to ask if this was some sort of joke. but as he layed his eyes on kyriaki, covered from head to toe in dry hardened shit he decided to just keep his mouth shut and quickly scan and bag the rest of the items. "alright sir that'll be $269" he said. "uh no" said kyriaki. "sir what do you mean no" asked the cashier. "i think i deserve a little discount for all the good i've done. do you even know who i am" said kyriaki with his hands on his fat hips. the cashier studied him for a bit then shook his head. kyriaki wiped the shit from his mustache "do you recognize me now." the cashier shook his head again. "I'M FUCKIN kyriaki" he screamed. "sir either pay for the stuff or get out. there are other shoppers who need to be rung up." kyriaki would not stand for this "let me speak to your boss you little fucker" he said. the cashier left to get his boss leaving kyriaki and kazegen alone. kyriaki quickly opened the register and stuffed money into his pockets while kazegen ate all the candy. "quick here he comes" said kyriaki as he hopped back over the counter and stood with kazegen, the two of them whistling nonchalantly and looking around. "alright what the fuck is going on here" said a male voice in falsetto. standing before kyriaki was the owner of the store, naya. "well well well if it isn't kyriaki. where's your green butt-buddy at." kazegen hopped out from behind kyriaki and waved. "i meant saigi" said naya. "listen turdo i want some sort of discount" said kyriaki. naya laughed "unless you've got some coupons you aren't getting shit" then he looked at kyriaki's shit-covered clothes "well i guess you already got the shit" he said, cracking up. "i got a coupon for you" said kyriaki as he rushed towards naya and kicked him in the crotch. kyriaki removed his foot from naya's crotch with a smirk until he noticed it had no effect on naya. naya didn't fall to the ground clutching his balls. he didn't scream in pain and hop around. he didn't even flinch. "must have missed" kyriaki said to himself and kicked naya in the crotch a second time, then a third time, then a fourth time but still nothing happened. kyriaki scratched his head and lifted naya's cock to see what the problem was. kyriaki almost barfed at the sight that he saw. below naya's dick, which kyriaki noted was of exceptional size, wasn't a nutsack but a moist dripping vagina. "OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK" shrieked kyriaki, jumping back and letting naya's dick flop back over the vagina. "so you've finally figured it out" said naya. "figured it out? what the hell dude i always thought you were just a faggot" screamed kyriaki. naya laughed maniacally at the shocked look on kyriaki's face as he fingered his cunt with one hand and jacked his dick off with the other hand. "if i do it just right" said naya with a moan "i can get both to orgasm at the same time." kyriaki wasn't going to stick around and let that happen. he ran at naya and knocked him to the ground and sat on his back. "quick kazegen rape him" ordered kyriaki as he struggled to keep naya subdued. kazegen nodded and ran to naya's ass, his dick already hard. kazegen stood behind naya with a confused look. "hurry up kazegen stick it in" grunted kyriaki as naya tried to push him off his back. naya started chuckling then let out a roar of laughter. "what the fuck are you laughing at" asked kyriaki then he turned to kazegen and screamed "RAPE HIM" but kazegen just stood there while his dick became flaccid. naya pushed kyriaki off his back and stood up, then turned his ass towards kyriaki. kyriaki took this as a chance to buttfuck naya until he realized why kazegen didn't rape him earlier: naya had no asshole. "as you can see i have no asshole" said naya as he turned around. "but then how do you take dumps" asked kyriaki. naya pointed at his huge mouth "this mouth isn't just for sucking twenty dicks at one time" and with that he began grunting and straining. kyriaki was confused at first but then he suddenly realized what was about to happen. "kazegen WATCH OUT" he screamed. a high-speed log of shit shot out of naya's mouth and just missed kazegen's head as he ducked to avoid it. the shit log hit the wall with enough force to become partially embedded in it. kazegen turned and looked at the shit log in the wall and scratched his head. he turned to naya who was cursing at having missed kazegen and then turned to the shit log again. his tiny brain had formulated an idea. he stretched out his tongue and wrapped it around the shit log and reeled it in quickly. he put the shit log in his mouth and formed it into a ball and spat it out of his mouth. the shitball sped forward and lodged itself in naya's mouth tube naya flailed his arms around wildly while making wheezing noises. kyriaki took advantage of naya's lowered defenses and ran up and punched him in the dick. naya's eyes narrowed in anger and he made a feeble attempt to grab kyriaki. kyriaki ducked under naya's outstretched arms and slid between his legs, catching a whiff of his putrid vagina. he hopped back up on the other side of naya and jump-kicked him in the back of the head. the kick caused the ball of shit to roll out of naya's mouth and onto the floor. naya fell to his hands and knees breathing hard. kyriaki and kazegen started kicking him repeatedly in the sides as naya cried. "kick his dick too kazegen" said kyriaki. the two of them started kicking the dick back and forth between one another. "wait wait i got a good one" said kyriaki. he drew back his leg, paused for a second, then brought it forward at blazing speeds into naya's dick and causing it to smack him hard in the side. "YOWWW" screamed naya. he had a red wang-shaped mark on his side and his wang was bruised. blood dripped from the peehole. "ew" said kyriaki as he watched a little puddle forming underneath naya's wang. naya stood to his feet, wobbling a little and looking down at his wang. he squeezed it from the base to the head and a small spurt of blood came out. noticing the smirk on kyriaki's face he said "don't think you caused this bleeding. i'm just on my period" kyriaki watched in horror as naya reached into his pocket, pulled out a tampon, and stuffed it into his peehole so only the string remained visible. "AAHHHHH FUCK YEAAAAAH THAT FEELS GOOD" he moaned. now kyriaki had seen some crazy shit in his day but he could not handle this. he averted his eyes as naya fingered his smelly cunt. kazegen was bent over dry heaving. he made a choking noise and vomited up one of the items they had shoplifted earlier, a six-pack of generic cream soda. naya noticed this and stopped fingering himself. a look of extreme anger crossed his face. kyriaki noticed the look on naya's face and quickly said "kazegen remember what i told you about drinking so much soda before we left." kazegen just stood there looking confused. kyriaki winked at him and kazegen winked back, giggling. "kyriaki don't do this to me man" said naya "don't fucking lie to me. the cans aren't even open. they're still fucking attached to each other." kyriaki laughed nervously. naya sighed "well i was going to just let you guys off with a severe beating, maybe a castration too, but it looks like now i'll have to kill you." "whoa now naya let's not get hasty" said kyriaki. he reached into his pockets and took out some coins that were covered with shit "i'll just pay for it and me and kazegen will leave." he threw the coins to the ground in front of naya. naya bent over and sucked the coins up with his mouth like a vacuum. kyriaki and kazegen took a few slow steps toward the exit then started sprinting. "HOLD IT" shouted naya. he fired a coin out of his mouth and hit kyriaki in the side of the leg. kyriaki looked down and saw the coin embedded a few centimeters into his leg. he cringed as the shit on the coin entered his bloodstream. naya advanced quickly on kyriaki, holding up his hands and showing his glittering painted nails. his nails were filed into very sharp points and kyriaki knew that they were capable of slicing into his ballsack with ease. naya lungeded at kyriaki and swiped at his crotch but he managed to cross his legs just in time, only receiving a light scratch on the leg. kyriaki kicked naya's hand away and saw part of his nail fall on the ground. naya looked down at his chipped nail and cried. "my nail my precious nail" he sobbed. he looked at kyriaki with bloodshot eyes "do you know how FUCKING LONG it took me to FUCKING FILE MY FUCKING NAILS TO FUCKING LETHAL POINTS" he screamed, showering kyriaki with shit-smelling spit. he fell to his knees and started shrieking in anger. kyriaki took this opportunity to run away. "dude let's get the hell outta here" he said to kazegen. they reached the doors only to find them locked. "you gotta be shitting me" kyriaki sighed in frustration. kyriaki grabbed kazegen by the wang and together they ran off into the store while naya cried over his chipped nail. they ducked into the cereal aisle and built a fort out of cereal boxes. "alright kazegen this'll buy us some time" kyriaki said. he began thinking of a plan of action. he noted naya's strong points: no weak spots (balls), can shoot shit from his mouth, and has a vagina. that last point was naya's greatest strength. kazegen is deadly afraid of vaginas and kyriaki had never seen a vagina outside of that one scat porno he watched once. they sat in their cereal box fort for five minutes before the farting started. kyriaki sniffed the air and noticed a foul smell. at first he thought it was just his crotch; he hadn't showered in a couple weeks or changed his underwear in even longer. but a quick sniff dispelled this theory, although his crotch did smell. then he heard a long muffled fart come from kazegen's ass. kyriaki got close and sniffed and quickly reeled back, his eyes tearing up. the tampons shoved in kazegen's ass, though good at absorbing diarrhea, were not adapt at absorbing the smell of laxative-induced farts. "kazegen quit farting or he'll catch us" kyriaki hissed. kazegen grunted and strained but ultimately couldn't hold in the farts. kyriaki coughed and wheezed and held his nose but he could still taste the farts and they tasted horrible. kazegen happily breathed in the air, enjoying the smell of his rancid farts. "well i can see we're gonna have fun with these laxatives when we get home" kyriaki said. then he heard the sounds of footsteps. through a small hole in the cereal box fort he saw the unmistakable pink penis that belonged to naya. kyriaki's heart pounded as he watched naya just stand there. "hmm a cereal box fort" he heard naya say to himself quietly. naya sniffed a couple times and took a step back. "ugh this cereal smells like it's gone bad." he reached for the boxes but then stopped. "on second thought i can just mark them as half off" he said with a mischievous chuckle. he walked away and kyriaki heaved a sigh of relief. but then a rumbling sound came from kazegen's bowels and naya stopped. "oh no" kyriaki gasped. "damn it he's getting aftershocks from the laxatives" kyriaki said to himself. there was another rumbling from kazegen's bowels and naya turned around. "is that you kyriaki" he called out. kazegen was starting to sweat from the strain of holding in the poop that was trying to push its way out of his ass. then his eyes grew wide and an even more horrible smell hit the air. kyriaki noticed a small stream of diarrhea falling out of his ass. "i know you're near kyriaki" naya was calling out "i can smell feces." the tampons in kazegen's ass were quivering. kyriaki knew it was only a matter of moments before they would burst, spewing out a torrent of foul smelling diarrhea. he had to act fast. "alright kazegen here's the plan" he whispered. outside of the fort naya noticed some diarrhea seeping out from under the fort. "what in the fuck" he said. he got close and dipped his finger in it and gave it a lick. "hmm" he took another lick "wait a minute THIS IS SHIT" he shouted. "NOW!" kyriaki burst out from the cereal box fort. he had a grip on the tampon strings sticking out from kazegen's ass, which was pointed straight at naya. naya froze in fear. he looked from kyriaki to kazegen's dripping asshole and back to kyriaki. he wasn't quite sure what was going on but he knew it must be dangerous. kyriaki's grip on the tampon strings tightened and he pulled them out with a loud "pop." a highly pressurized jet of diarrhea shot from kazegen's asshole and hit naya square in the chest. he skidded backwards a few inches but quickly regained control and started pushing against the torrent towards them. "AIM HIGHER" shouted kyriaki "AIM FOR HIS MOUTH TUBE." kazegen angled his asshole higher and gallons of diarrhea entered naya's mouth. kyriaki watched with his hands on his hips and a smug smirk on his face. but then a look of concern came over his face as he noticed the jet of diarrhea beginning to lose pressure. he looked around for some more laxatives to refuel kazegen but then he remembered he had left the shopping cart back at the checkout lane. the diarrhea torrent came to a sudden stop and everyone just stood there. it was completely silent except for kazegen's dripping asshole. naya burped and some diarrhea spilled out of his mouth. kyriaki then realized how bad the situation was: naya was now full of shit and could fire it out with much more force than kazegen's asshole. he broke the silence by saying a frustrated "oh fuck me." he felt something prodding at his backside and said "no kazegen." naya took a step forward and the diarrhea in his stomach sloshed around. kyriaki could see some shit rising up through naya's throat and just managed to jump to the side as naya let loose with a jet of diarrhea with so much force that he skidded back a few feet. naya kept shooting blasts of diarrhea at kyriaki and kyriaki kept dodging them. kyriaki attributed this to the fact that naya probably wasn't used to the consistency of the diarrhea: it's a liquid but it has a bit of substance to it that makes it thicker than most other liquids. eventually he started showing off, doing ballet jumps over some of the blasts and even letting a blast go between his legs just inches below his crotch, causing kazegen to cover his eyes in fear. naya had used up almost all of the diarrhea and knew he had to make this last shit shot count. naya attempted to aim at kyriaki but found that to be difficult. kyriaki had taken to hopping from side to side flailing his arms around wildly. "HOLD STILL DAMN IT" naya screamed but this just made kyriaki jump around more sporadically. naya tried to discern a pattern in his jumping but kyriaki was too smart for that. then he turned and shot the shit at kazegen. the shit pounded him in the face and sent him tumbling backwards. naya made a quick dash at kyriaki and punched him in the stomach. kyriaki bent over and naya kneed him in the face sending him staggering backwards. he wiped the blood from his face and did a sliding kick into naya's feet. naya toppled over backwards and kyriaki jumped on his stomach. a spray of diarrhea shot out of his mouth and blinded kyriaki. naya pushed kyriaki off of him and flipped up into a standing position before giving kyriaki a sweeping kick and catching him by his feet. he swung kyriaki around a few times to gain momentum and tossed him into kazegen who was just then standing up. kyriaki looked up to see naya walking slowly towards him and kazegen. he tried to get up but kazegen had fallen on top of him. "geez kyriaki i thought you would put up a better fight than that" naya said. kyriaki pushed kazegen off him and said "could you repeat that naya. kazegen's cock was in my ear" he stood to his feet, wobbling slightly. "i said you're a faggot and like to fuck dudes." "that's what i thought you said." naya sprinted toward kyriaki, raising his fist to attack. kyriaki quickly unzipped his overalls and whipped out his dick. he fired a quick piss stream into naya's eyes. "AHH FUCK" naya screamed and covered his eyes. kyriaki made a run for it, grabbing the unconscious kazegen along the way. he knew that he couldn't keep this up. he was a fat middle aged man with a small dick whereas naya was a fit hermaphrodite with a long thick dick. they were polar opposites. kyriaki ran from aisle to aisle until he found himself in the cookware and cutlery aisle. kyriaki eyed the knives on the shelves, particularly a large butcher knife. he grabbed it off the shelf and ran his finger along the blade. "yeah this will do" he said as a small drop of blood rolled down his finger. behind him he heard footsteps and turning around he saw that naya had somehow followed him. "how did you find me" he asked as he tightened his grip on the knife. "your wiener." kyriaki looked down and saw that his wiener was still hanging out. then he noticed the trail of piss leading into the aisle. kyriaki zipped himself up while being careful not to cut his dick off with the knife. he narrowed his eyes at naya then let out a scream and sprang at him. naya sidestepped the swing of his knife and kicked him in the ass. kyriaki stumbled forward but quickly regained his footing, spinning around to face naya and swing again. but naya had reached for his own weapon, a heavy cleaver which he used to block kyriaki's knife. with his other hand kyriaki punched naya in the gut. naya jumped up on top of the shelf and waved his dick around tauntingly. kyriaki took a running leap onto the adjacent shelf and faced naya. he looked around and noticed how cool everything looked from up there. "enjoy the view while you can kyriaki" naya said ominously "for it will be the last thing you ever see. actually the last thing you'll ever see will be me shoving my dick down your throat as you choke on it. i have had enough of your shenanigans. every time you come to my store i find shit everywhere." kyriaki snickered which made naya furious. he jumped into the air and so did kyriaki, their blades colliding in midair with a loud clang. they exchanged a fury of kicks in midair before falling back down on top of the shelves. kyriaki took off, leaping from shelf to shelf as naya chased after him. he reached down and picked up a can of baked beans, sliced the top of it off with his knife, and downed the contents in one gulp. "national bean eating champ of '83" kyriaki said to himself with a grin. he reached into his pocket and took out a feather, unzipped his overalls, and shoved the tip of it into his peehole. he screamed in pain as a puff of smoke covered him. naya stopped running and jumped back a few shelves to survey this new development. when the smoke cleared naya noticed had expected to see some sort of monstrous transformation. but instead he saw kyriaki standing there, still as fat as ever. except now he had on a piss-yellow cape. naya let out a hearty laugh "hahaha fag." kyriaki ignored his laughs and started grunting and straining. he gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. "oh no he's gonna shit himself" naya said in mock fear. "not exactly" kyriaki said with a smirk. kyriaki pushed out a thirty second wet putrid-smelling fart followed by a few short farts. its smell was akin to the kind of fart that only comes around when one is sick and signals the onset of a diarrhea attack only much much worse. using his cape kyriaki waved the smell over to naya. naya scoffed at this "heh you expect a fucking fart to defeat m—" then the smell finally hit him. his eyes widened and started to water. "OH GOD HOLY SHIT THAT FUCKING STINKS" naya screamed. he fell to his knees and vomitted a brownish-green mess of bile and shit. his cleaver slipped out of his hand and fell down to the floor. kyriaki put his hands on his hips, an evil smile spreading across his face. "national bean farting champ of '83 too" kyriaki hopped up and floated gently over to the quivering, puking body of naya. he breathed in deeply "ahh smells just like roses. roses that someone shat on and left sitting out in the sun, that is" looking down at naya he saw intense fear in his eyes. kyriaki grabbed naya's dick and gently stroked it until it became hard. with his left hand he held it steady as he raised his right arm. the blade of the knife glinted in the fluorescent lighting. "no" naya said weakly. "YES" kyriaki screamed. he had a boner now too and it was about to blow. kyriaki brought the knife down on naya's dick just as he blew his load in his pants. "MY DICK AHHH NOOOOOO" naya shrieked. a geyser of blood sprayed from where his dick once was. kyriaki danced in the blood and giggled in glee as naya writhed in pain. he tossed the knife at naya and it embedded itself in the side of his mouthtube. "hey naya i think you dropped something" kyriaki taunted, holding naya's pink severed dick in his hand and laughing hysterically. kyriaki walked up and smacked naya across the face with his severed dick a few times. "and now to finish you off" he said as he began to strip naked. he squatted down over naya's chest and grunted. he pushed out another fart and then the tip of a shit log peeked its way out of his asshole. "NO" naya screamed "NOOOO." "hrrrAUGH" kyriaki grunted. a vein throbbed in his temple as he pushed out this monstrous shit. naya tried desperately to get up but without his dick he was powerless. the shit was now dangling in the air, hanging out of kyriaki's ass like a brown tail. with one last fart the shit landed on naya's chest. naya quit moving and stayed still as kyriaki pushed out a few smaller poops. he took naya's bow and wiped his ass with it and shoved it in the still bleeding hole that was once his dick. naya's eyes remained open but kyriaki noticed there was no longer any life left in them. he gave naya a sharp kick to the side just to be sure but naya did not react at all. wiping the sweat from his forehead, he gathered up his clothes and hopped down to the ground to search for kazegen. kyriaki walked around the aisles of the store, stealing bags of doritos and candy. it was completely quiet except for the occasional afterfarts he experienced from the beans; all the other customers had no doubt fleed from the store due to all the farting and shitting. he found kazegen hanging out in the toilet paper and diaper aisle. kazegen's tail wagged happily at the sight of his naked master. "well kazegen it looks like once again i have saved the day" kyriaki said as he hopped on kazegen's back. someone had busted the windows on the front doors allowing kyriaki and kazegen to easily exit the store. kyriaki tied the shopping cart to kazegen's wang and the two of them made their way back home. kazegen easily pulled the shopping cart around due to his strong wang honed by many years of assfucking, and he only slightly struggled underneath the weight of kyriaki. but unlike the trip to the store, the return trip home was mostly downhill. when they finally arrived home kyriaki stepped off kazegen and angrily shouted "saigi get your butt in here" saigi came bounding down the stairs, zipping his fly "geez kyriaki what took you so—HOLY WEEWEE WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU" he shrieked as he caught sight of his naked, bleeding, shitty brother. he got close and examined kyriaki's wounds and checked to make sure nothing had happened to his wiener. "me and naya got in a fight. no big deal" kyriaki said. saigi noticed that kazegen was almost completely covered in shit and rushed over. "he's ok" kyriaki said "he just tested out a new brand of laxatives i found." saigi's mustache twitched and he quickly began to dig through the shopping cart. "aha" saigi exclaimed as he found the laxatives "industrial strength huh." kyriaki grabbed the box from saigi's hands with a serious look on his face "saigi you gotta be careful with these things. just one of these babies is enough to cause you to shit gallons upon gallons of diarrhea. i know how you like to take multiple laxatives at a time and i don't want you overdosing on these things." saigi hastily grabbed the box back from kyriaki and ran up the stairs "yeah sure whatever. no one bother me." kyriaki chuckled as he heard the bathroom door slam shut. kyriaki untied the shopping cart from kazegen's dick and sat down on the couch. he turned the tv on and played with his dick a bit as he flipped through the channels, stopping when he saw naya's bitchin store on the news. there were police cars and firetrucks all around it and people with gas masks standing outside. "even from here the smell is horrific" the reporter was saying, obviously trying to keep herself from vomiting "police are on the search for the suspected mastermind of the attack, forty-two year old serium. he is described as being four feet nine inches tall and weighing 340 pounds." "heh" laughed kyriaki. the toilet flushed and saigi hobbled down the stairs. he slumped down on the couch next to kyriaki, panting. "oh man that was intense" he said between breaths. after regaining his breath he stood up and said "kazegen i got a treat for you." kazegen's head and wang perked up and he walked over to saigi. saigi took off his overalls and turned around to reveal his messy dripping stinking ass. a big grin spread across kazegen's face as he he started licking up the diarrhea. "damn it guys i'm trying to watch tv" kyriaki said over the loud slurping noises and giggles. saigi shook his ass in front of kyriaki's face and said "you're just cranky because you want some of this. don't worry bro there's plenty for everyone." kyriaki sighed and pushed saigi's ass away "normally i'd say yes but i think i've had enough shit for today" he thought back to all the diarrhea geysers he experienced earlier. but saigi shoved his ass into kyriaki's face and his nose went into his asscheeks. he took a big sniff. "well i guess i'll have some since it's right here and all." kyriaki licked a circle around saigi's asshole and swallowed some shit. "man saigi you have the tastiest shit in the world" he said. saigi giggled and blushed. kyriaki bit off a few dingleberries from saigi's ass hairs and crunched down on them. a fart escaped from saigi's ass and a small trickle of diarrhea leaked from his asshole. kyriaki slurped it up and swished it around in his mouth before gargling it and swallowing. kazegen was beginning to become restless. "hey now kyriaki give kazegen a turn" saigi said. kyriaki shook his head "kazegen can get his own shit." "kyriaki" saigi said sternly. kyriaki sighed and took a big lick of shit from saigi's ass. he opened his mouth and kazegen stuck his tongue inside and licked around. "hey give me some of that" saigi said. he turned around and stuck his tongue in too. the three of them stood there passing shit and spit from one mouth to the next and rubbing their hard wangs together. saigi tried to force some more shit out for the three of them but could only produce a small squeaky fart. "sorry guys looks like those laxatives cleaned me out" he said. kazegen pressed his lips to saigi's asshole and started sucking but nothing came out and he began to cry. "i think i might have a little more shit left in me" kyriaki said. he clenched his fists and bit down on his lower lip and began grunting and pushing. he pushed and pushed for five minutes until a little poop nugget fell out of his ass which kazegen gobbled up quickly. "no more poop" kyriaki said with a shrug. just then the doorbell rang. kyriaki opened the door and found himself wang to face with nial. kyriaki's erect wang was pointed straight at nial's eye. nial gasped and took a few steps backward. "oh master kyriaki it's only you. yes i'd recognize your wang anywhere" he said. he followed kyriaki inside and sniffed the air. "smells like i missed the party" he said with a hint of sadness in his voice. "we were just having a celebratory shit-eat" kyriaki said. "speaking of shit you wouldn't happen to have to take one would you" saigi asked. nial stroked his chin and said "well i suppose i could give it the old college try." kyriaki, saigi, and kazegen cheered. nial pulled down his pants to reveal his old, wrinkly dick and even wrinklier nutsack. kazegen poked the frail dick gently. "i'm afraid little IZie just isn't as lively as he once was" nial said with a sad sigh "that's what i call my dick. little IZie." kyriaki and saigi exchanged frightful glances, worried that their own dicks would also resemble old hot dogs that had been left out in the sun for a few weeks. nial grunted and pushed and ripped a huge fart. "pardon me" he said with a blush. he gave another push and another fart but this one was muffled somewhat. saigi walked behind nial and looked at his ass. "i can see a bit of poop trying to make its way out" he proclaimed. he pinched the end of it off and rolled it around between his thumb and index finger. "nice texture, firm yet still on the soft side" he gave it a sniff "good poopy smell." he nodded to nial who resumed his pooping. nial's eyes bulged out and a few drops of pee leaked from his dick as the shit crawled its way out of his ass. he gripped the arm of the couch in front of him, his knuckles turning white as he grunted and groaned. his glasses fell off and landed on the carpet and some more drops of pee fell onto them. beads of sweat dripped down his forehead and were absorbed by his mustache. saigi quickly loosened his bow tie. "thank you master saigi" he said between grunts. the air was ripe with the scent of old man poop and all four of them had boners. the shit landed on the carpet with a thud. nial fell down to his hands and knees panting and sweating, his wang rising and falling with his breaths. kazegen assumed the position behind him but kyriaki quickly pulled him away. "he's too old for that. his heart is weak" he whispered. he handed nial his cane and he shakily got to his feet. "whew" he said as he wiped the sweat from his face and the shit from his ass. saigi got a knife and divided the shit into four equal shares and each of them ate happily, although kyriaki stole some of kazegen's poop while no one was looking. the four of them laid on the carpet and sighed contently with their full bellies and licked their brown lips. nial pulled out some pubes and handed them out and using the pubes they flossed the shit from between their teeth. the pubes made soft squeaking sounds as they flossed and compared the poop chunks they accumulated on their pube floss. kyriaki had the most and being the winner was allowed to lick the shit from everyone's floss. nial got dressed and said "well master kyriaki, master saigi, slave kazegen, i had a swell time this afternoon. i even got a boner for the first time in several years without the aid of a pill" he rubbed the small bulge in his pants lovingly "but i'm afraid it's time i get back to the castle." kyriaki placed his arm around nial's shoulder. "i'm sure you could stay for a little while longer. put that boner to good use." a small smile crept up from under nial's mustache. "well i wouldn't want this boner to go to waste" he said as kyriaki helped him remove his clothes. they all sat down in a circle and gripped their wieners. "the name of the game is center splat" kyriaki explained "the object is for all of us to jizz at the exact same time so that it collides in midair. this is an advanced game that requires precise timing so don't fuck it up kazegen." kazegen nodded and concentrated hard on his wiener. kyriaki began the countdown: "three two one JERK." with that they began to jerk off. kyriaki smeared some of his ass sweat on his left hand (his masturbation hand) to use as lube while kazegen went at it dry. saigi sucked his own dick for a few seconds to lubricate it before furiously rubbing his dick between both of his hands. nial sneezed right as the jerking off session began, shrugged, and covered his dick in the snot. with his left hand he tickled his balls as he jacked off. a few minutes passed, silent except for the fap fap fapping sounds of jerking off and the groans of pleasure they made as their penises tingled in delight. just then a worried look swept over nial's face. "excuse me" he said "excuse me but i'm about to ejaculate." the others sped up their hand movements to be able to cum at the same time as nial. kyriaki raised his hand and said "me too." kazegen also raised his hand and threw back his head and moaned. saigi was the last one left and he furiously tugged at his penis but it just wasn't doing it. saigi stuck his middle finger up his asshole and rubbed his prostate. "oooh OOOH" he gasped. his boner became even harder and his testicles gave a jolt. "I'M CUMMING I'M CUMMING" he screamed. at that second it was as if their cocks were exactly synchronized. all four of them blew their loads at the same time and all four of them had an exceptional amount of semen. their loads hit square in the center between them, four feet in the air with a "shplurght" sound and splattering droplets of jizz everywhere. they all roared with laughter and crawled around on their hands and knees, licking jizz drops off the furniture and each other. finally the place was jizzless and they put their clothes on. "master kyriaki you make me feel like a kid again" nial said. a tear ran down his cheek which kyriaki wiped away. "hey you come over and jack around with us any time you want old man" he said "and i do mean jack around" he whispered and nudged nial with his elbow. he walked nial to the door. nial chuckled. "well you know how tight my schedule is, what with tending to the princess and—" his eyes suddenly grew wide. kyriaki paused at the sight of nial's shocked expression then closed the door in his face. "master kyriaki master kyriaki" nial shouted as he banged on the door. kyriaki opened the door. "master kyriaki i just remembered why i came over here in the first place" nial said with a worried look in his eyes "serium broke into the castle and took the princess." kyriaki scratched his ass "yeah i'll deal with that later" he said and shut the door again. nial opened the door. "master kyriaki you don't understand. serium's army completely wrecked the castle." kyriaki shrugged and said "i'll do it tomorrow or next week or something" and shut the door again but nial stuck his cane in just before the door closed and pushed it open again. "he destroyed the royal shit museum" nial cried, tears streaming down his cheeks. kyriaki stood still. his hands balled up into fists and trembled slightly. "he WHAT" kyriaki screamed. he turned to saigi and kazegen. "guys pack your bags. we're going to kill that bastard serium." kyriaki stormed up the stairs taking them two at a time and went to pack his things. as he stuffed some extra pairs of overalls into his bag he remembered being a child and touring the royal shit museum for the first time. he could almost smell the old shit exhibits, dating back to 1328 when the museum had been erected. kyriaki remembered how ecstatic he had been upon receiving a letter six years ago stating that he had been chosen to submit his own shit to the museum for having rescued the princess for the 17th time. the roaring of the crowd that had gathered to watch him take a shit on the pedestal marked "kyriaki" filled his ears again. but now it was destroyed. kyriaki buried his face in his hands and wept saigi walked up the stairs and called out to kyriaki "should i bring our mustache combs." he froze in the doorway when he caught sight of his crying brother. "kyriaki don't worry we'll get the princess" he said. he walked in and laid a hand on kyriaki's shoulder. kyriaki pushed his hand away "who cares about the princess. we lost a national treasure. we can replace the princess but the shits are gone forever saigi. THEY'RE GONE" he punched the wall and broke a hole in it. saigi gasped and took a step back as kyriaki turned toward him, his eyes bloodshot and his face full of anger. a shiver ran down saigi's spine as he looked at kyriaki's expression of pure hatred. he hadn't seen kyriaki this mad since the time serium had shaven off kyriaki's mustache back in high school. "saigi" he said slowly. saigi gulped. "we're gonna go all out on serium this time. he went too far this time. pack all the food you can so we can build up enough shit to attack him with." saigi nodded and ran downstairs to the kitchen. he knew that when kyriaki gets serious you do whatever he tells you to do. a half hour later everything was packed except the shit-eggs. the shit-eggs had to be handled with extreme care and kyriaki trusted no one with them. kyriaki examined the eggs closely, picking out the best candidates. the older eggs would be more putrid, having rotted slightly. however their shells would be weaker and the last thing they need is one of those things breaking along the way to serium's castle. on the other hand the newer eggs would not have had enough time to ferment and the shits may be too solid. to work effectively the shits should be liquidated to create proper shit splatter. kyriaki stroked his chin "decisions decisions." kyriaki grabbed one of the older eggs from the shelf. he poked a small hole in the shell and almost threw up. a thick greenish brown fluid oozed out of the hole. a horrendous, god awful stink hit the air. it smelled like a mixture of bad diarrhea, ball sweat, old man farts, the inside of a dumpster, skunk, and that one pair of underwear he wore for a year straight, except much much worse. kyriaki covered his nose with his hand but the odor was so pungent he could taste it. it stung his eyes and burned his throat as he breathed through his mouth. kyriaki walked back to the others carrying a bag carefully. "no one touch this" he said. saigi handed him a taco drenched in hot sauce. "tacos will induce shit" said saigi "and the hot sauce will add some extra power to our shits." "good thinking bro" kyriaki said. he looked at nial. "what are you still doing here" he asked. "i have decided to come along with you master kyriaki" nial said "i may not be fast and my dick may not be strong but i know i can help somehow." he looked up at kyriaki with determination on his face. kyriaki sighed. "alright you can come. but you're carrying everything." he turned around just in time to miss nial flipping him off. kyriaki went through all the bags carefully to survey what everyone had packed. he noted that saigi was carrying quite a few of the industrial-strength laxatives. "good. combined with the tacos and hot sauce we should have some pretty powerfull shit" he said. in kazegen's bag was just piss. "alright everything seems to be in order" kyriaki said. he pointed at nial and commanded "pick everything up and be careful with my bag." kyriaki kicked open the door and together they all walked out into the sunset. kyriaki stopped at the edge of the driveway. "kyriaki what's the matter" asked saigi. kyriaki stood scratching his balls and looking up and down the street. "does anyone remember where serium lives" he asked. "master kyriaki i believe he lives to the east" nial said. kyriaki sighed. "alright then does anyone know which way east is." saigi thought for a few minutes and said "i think east is the same as right" so they began their journey down the street to the right and into the woods. they went into the woods and walked through carefully. the setting sun combined with the towering trees created weird shadows on the ground. some of them looked like penises which caused kazegen to look around in confusion, wondering where the penises actually were. saigi and nial compared and contrasted different masturbation techniques while kyriaki brought up the rear, scanning the area with his eyes. there was a peculiar odor in the air that kyriaki didn't like. eventually saigi noticed it too and sniffed the air deeply. he looked over his shoulder at kyriaki with a concerned expression on his face. "kyriaki" saigi said "that smell. it's fart." kyriaki shook his head. it didn't smell like any farts he had ever smelled. but then again, when it came to farts saigi's nose did not lie. he had a sixth sense. saigi could figure out what someone had eaten just by smelling their farts. "kyriaki whoever farted had been eating bananas" saigi said. kyriaki's eyes widened in fear. he only knew of one person who ate bananas. suddenly he heard a rustle in the tree above him and before he knew it he was knocked hard onto his back and pinned down by something hairy and stinky. saigi and kazegen rushed over but were smacked away by the creature's long arm. fortunately this allowed kyriaki to kick it off him. he flipped up onto his feet and stared at the being in front of him as it too flipped to its feet. kyriaki recognized it instantly. he and the beast had a long history going back twenty-six years. "well well well" kyriaki said, spitting on the ground in front of the animal. it snorted in anger. "if it isn't old araigen" kyriaki sneered. araigen's eyes widened in anger and he started stomping around in an angry rage. "ME KONG NOT DONG" he screamed. "kyriaki who is this guy" saigi asked. the beast was naked except for a tie around its neck. it looked as though the beast had used the tie to wipe its ass. he made out the letters "DK" on it but had no idea what it could stand for. kyriaki sighed and adjusted his crotch "this is araigen. me and him go way back. remember that summer a long time ago when i got a job shoveling shit at the circus? well this little fucker was one of the main attractions there and he kept eating rotten bananas and having explosive diarrhea everywhere just to make me mad. one day i just got so pissed at him that i took a banana and shoved it up his ass. he didn't like that of course so me and him had a little one-on-one. well i kicked his ass good and was just about to deliver the final blow when he noticed i left the door to his cage open. with the last of his strength he managed to escape. we've crossed paths a couple times since then but it's always ended with me kicking his ass yet again and him somehow escaping." araigen, who was absentmindedly plucking ticks off his scrotum, looked up when kyriaki stopped talking. a wide grin formed on his face as he pulled back his arm and began winding it. "EVERYONE GET BACK" kyriaki yelled. saigi and kazegen jumped back. nial was nowhere to be seen but they could hear him whimpering somewhere, perhaps behind a tree. kyriaki took a defensive stance as araigen continued winding up his punch. suddenly his arm stopped and he rushed forward to kyriaki. kyriaki stood his ground as araigen raised his fist. he brought it back and then thrust it forward straight into kyriaki's face. but at the last second kyriaki ducked down and rolled between araigen's legs. an unpleasant odor greeted his nostrils as he passed below araigen's crotch and asshole. araigen's ballsack rubbed on kyriaki's lips and he tasted the salty shittyness of the ape's unwashed balls. kyriaki stood to his feet behind araigen and, taking advantage of the dumb ape's momentary confusion, aimed his anal annihilation kick at araigen's ass. normally the user of this devastating kick attack will end up with his shoe halfway up the victim's ass. this allows the user to then slip his foot out of his shoe and shove it all the way into the ass. as kyriaki was about to land the kick he noticed a problem: araigen had a layer of dried shit covering his asshole. kyriaki cursed under his breath; the attack needs a clear entry way into the anus otherwise it will not work. "god damn it WHY DOES NOTHING EVER GO MY WAY" he screamed. araigen whirled around and aimed a slap straight at kyriaki's balls. kyriaki managed to avoid the slap but araigen grabbed him and threw him into a tree, causing him to smack his head hard against it. he slumped to the ground at the base of the tree, his head pounding. looking up he saw araigen running at him on all fours, his dick trailing behind him like a tail. kyriaki rolled to the side as araigen punched the ground right where his balls were at. the ape grunted in anger as he turned around and ran at kyriaki again. kyriaki noticed araigen's eyes were fixated on his balls. "so that's how we wants to fight is it" he said to himself. kyriaki leaped into the air and araigen passed underneath him. but a smirk formed on his face as he spun around and landed a strong punch to kyriaki's balls. "FUCK FUCK FUCK" kyriaki shrieked as he fell to the ground in the fetal position, caressing his throbbing balls. araigen snickered and rubbed his nutsack on kyriaki's face. kyriaki felt the gross slimy ball hairs rubbing around on his lips. kyriaki grabbed one of the hairs between his teeth and plucked it out. araigen yelped and hopped around, clutching at his scrotum and crying. saigi and kazegen rushed over to kyriaki while araigen was dancing around in pain. saigi bent down and examined kyriaki who was crying from the pain. he unzipped kyriaki's overalls and pulled out his balls. "no swelling or bruising…yet" saigi said. he turned to kazegen "find nial and bring him here. we need the medical bag" he ordered. kazegen glanced at araigen who was beginning to settle down. "don't worry kazegen. i can handle this guy" saigi said, rolling up his sleeves and preparing for combat. saigi flipped his cap around backwards and raised his fists. he took off running in the opposite direction of kazegen in order to draw the ape's attention. araigen chased after saigi and quickly caught up to him. he stretched out his leg and tripped saigi, causing him to fall face first into a pile of shit. saigi took a few bites of the shit and tasted banana. araigen clapped his hands and laughed "you fall in my poo" he said between giggles. angry, saigi grabbed a handful of shit and tossed it into araigen's face. araigen's laughs turned into coughs as he began choking. araigen pounded his chest hard as his face began to turn blue. saigi laughed with his hands on his hips "choking on poop. what a way to go" he said. araigen managed to furrow his eyebrows in anger and attempted to smack saigi but the lack of oxygen made his movements slow, allowing saigi to dodge just by leaning backwards. tears flowed from araigen's eyes as he grabbed at his neck and stomped on the ground. tears flowed from saigi's eyes too, but only because he was laughing so hard. "kinda brings a new meaning to 'eat shit and die' doesn't it?!" saigi screamed as he laughed maniacally. araigen started panicking now. he found a small twig on the ground and stuck it in his mouth to try to clear out the poop in his throat but it didn't work. he started punching himself over and over again in the stomach. "what are you trying to do beat yourself up" saigi asked but araigen continued punching himself. suddenly saigi realized what araigen was trying to do. "oh no you don't" saigi yelled as he grabbed araigen's huge muscular arm. araigen punched himself with his other fist now and before saigi could get to it a shit nugget shot out of araigen's mouth and hit saigi in the forehead. the mixture of shit and saliva exploded on impact and splattered all over saigi's face. araigen sat catching his breath for a minute as saigi stood there, his face dripping with the coughed up shit. he watched as araigen's face turned from white to blue to back to its normal color, though a little flush. his eyes were bloodshot and his face was growing more red. "you okay dude" saigi asked. araigen was trembling slightly. he stuck his hand behind his ass and farted. saigi was puzzled as to what the ape was up to but it all became clear as he brought his arm out from behind his ass and revealed a steaming handful of shit. he flung it at saigi, hitting him hard in the chest and causing him to fall backwards. saigi planted his hand on the ground and backflipped onto his feet just in time to be hit in the chest again with another handful of shit. saigi stood up slowly and wiped the shit off his shirt. he watched as araigen was forming a shitball out of a particularly runny glob of shit and giggling. "what's so funny" saigi asked. araigen finished the shitball and walked slowly towards saigi, tossing it up and down in his hand and grinning evilly. sweat dripped down the bridge of saigi's nose and into his mustache. araigen's eyes darted back and forth between saigi and the shitball as he slowly advanced toward him. araigen stopped walking and tossing the shitball up and down, but the same wicked grin remained on his face. he pulled back his arm and aimed at saigi. saigi did not hesitate. he spun around and started sprinting away from araigen as fast as he could. behind him he could hear araigen's footsteps and heavy breathing gaining on him but he didn't dare look back, he just concentrated on running as fast as he could. his heart pounded in his chest and his legs felt like they were going to burst. his balls shifted out of the left leg hole of his briefs but there wasn't any time to fix that. the last thing he remembered was something hard and sharp hitting him in the back of the head and everything going black. saigi woke up to a sharp pain in the back of his head. he rubbed it with his right hand and felt something wet. "what the" he opened his eyes and immediately noticed something was not right. he was dangling upside down high off the ground. looking at his hand he saw blood mixed with shit. "you finally awake" a voice said. he looked up at his feet and saw araigen still grinning evilly at him. he was sitting on a tree branch holding saigi by the left ankle. "me hide rock in shitball. make you knock out" he said and started laughing hard. araigen began to shake saigi and swing him around, loosening and tightening his grip on his ankle. saigi pissed himself a little in fear and the piss traveled down his shirt and into his face. "ew you peepee" araigen said with a grimace. noticing this, an idea formed in saigi's head. "so you don't like peepee eh" saigi said with a sly smirk. with extreme quickness he unzipped his overalls, pulled out his wiener, and squirted the last of his piss into araigen's face. "NO PEEPEE NO PEEPEE" araigen shrieked and covered his face with his hands, losing his grip on saigi's ankle in the process. "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK" saigi yelled as he fell. as saigi neared the ground his life began to flash before his eyes. his first memory, two years old and playing with his freshly shat in diaper as he continued to shit on the floor. age five, getting yelled at by the teacher for shitting his pants on the first day of kindergarten. countless schoolyard pissing contests, being beaten only by kyriaki. having fun eroding the urinal cakes in the high school bathrooms and sneaking peaks at the boys using the adjacent urinals. his first mustache hair. his first job at age 18, being the guy that watches people take their piss tests. getting fired the following year when he was caught taking sips from the cups. changing his ailing grandfather's diapers when he was 26. finding kazegen's egg ten years ago. all the shit, the piss, the cum. saigi closed his eyes and smiled. suddenly something long, red, and sticky wrapped around saigi's abdomen. "what the" saigi gasped as it tightened around him and stopped his descent. he felt himself being reeled in behind him. he turned his head and saw kazegen straining to bring saigi in with his long tongue. kazegen flashed saigi a thumbs up and a huge wave of relief washed over saigi. his dick was now harder than it had ever been and he couldn't resist the urge to rub it up and down and all around. he was alive! he could masturbate if he wanted to! kazegen noticed what saigi was doing and got too excited; he forgot to stop reeling saigi in, making saigi plow into him. the two of them rolled around on the ground kissing, groping, licking, sucking each other in happiness. but the happiness did not last long. from up in the tree came a scream of rage as araigen jumped from the top down to the ground in front of saigi and kazegen. he landed hard causing the ground to shake. araigen's eyes were red from saigi's piss and he was breathing deep, angry breaths. he stared at saigi and kazegen who each had each other's dicks in their hands as they stared back. kazegen pushed saigi back and pointed behind him. saigi turned his head and saw nial tending to kyriaki's balls. "you want me to help nial?" saigi asked. kazegen nodded, keeping his eyes on araigen. saigi saw kazegen's boner going down, a sign that kazegen meant business. he patted kazegen on the shoulder and ran off to help his brother. kazegen and araigen continued to stare each other down. araigen's irritated eyes twitched but still they kept staring unblinking. it was kazegen who made the first move. he jumped over araigen and started whipping him with his long tongue. over and over again kazegen whipped araigen over the ass, giving him the spanking he deserved for hurting kyriaki and almost killing saigi. the dried shit caked over araigen's asshole began to crack and crumble. "ME BE GOOD ME BE GOOD" araigen screamed as he cried and tried to cover his ass. but araigen had been a bad boy and kazegen did not let up saigi shoved nial out of the way and bent down to examine kyriaki's balls. "saigi…is that…you?" kyriaki said weakly. "yes brother i am here" saigi said. kyriaki's cock stiffened a bit and saigi squeezed it gently. "no kyriaki, not until i figure out the extent of your injury." kazegen's tongue was wrapped around a struggling araigen. with all his muscle he was not able to break free; nothing can break out of the grip of a kazegen's tongue. kazegen slowly began to draw his tongue in as he opened his mouth wide. araigen, whose arms were pinned to his side from the tongue, started kicking his feet wildly until he hit himself in his own balls. he went limp and kazegen swallowed him up. kazegen struggled a bit to get the big ape down but eventually he got it. now came the hard part: producing the huge egg required to contain araigen. he could feel araigen punching the walls of his stomach but that didn't worry him; kazegens have very strong stomachs. kazegen took a deep breath and closed his eyes. he spread his asscheeks wide to allow the egg ample room to slide out and began to grunt and strain and push and scream. his asshole was used to big things going in but going out was another story, especially a five foot, three hundred pound egg. kazegen's eyes bugged out and his face turned red as the tip of the egg pushed out through his asshole. he bit down on his bottom lip and continued pushing it out slowly millimeter by millimeter. only two inches of the egg had passed through his asshole but he was already drenched in sweat. his ass was extremely sweaty, a natural coping measure to help lubricate the egg. he gave a huge push and a couple more inches of the egg slid out. the pain was excruciating. it felt as though his asshole would tear apart. his vision was becoming cloudy and he began to feel dizzy. but despite all this he couldn't help but feel slightly aroused. slowly he gripped his hardening wang and moaned. saigi took an ice pack out of the medical supply bag and put it over kyriaki's balls. the balls promptly shriveled up, as did his penis. "good they can still experience shrinkage" noted saigi. "damn it saigi" kyriaki said, shivering. "this will help get the swelling down" saigi said "and besides this isn't normal ice. this is frozen kazegen piss." kyriaki sighed and covered his nub of a penis with his hand. it was just too embarrassing. five minutes had passed and the egg was nearing the halfway point and was at its greatest width. kazegen's asshole was in so much pain but he was loving it so much. his dick was so hard it felt like it would pop. he squeezed his dick and stomped his feet and moaned and groaned. finally he gave one last huge push and the egg slid all the way out. at the same time his dick shot out a huge glob of semen that shot straight forward and splattered against a tree. kazegen's dick spasmed and a couple smaller semen globs dripped out. he stumbled a bit and leaned against the egg for support, panting. his gaping asshole slowly closed up as his dick continued to spasm and tingle and ooze out more semen. "wow kazegen did you shit that thing out" came a voice from behind him. kazegen turned around ready for a fight until he saw kyriaki walking towards him, along with saigi and nial. kazegen grinned and bounded for kyriaki, hopping around him and giving him kisses. "yep it takes more than a punch to the balls to get rid of old kyriaki" kyriaki said "and thanks to kazegen's frozen piss in the ice pack i was able to make a full recovery." nial scratched his head "what does the frozen weewee have to do anything" he asked. "the piss of a kazegen has healing qualities" saigi explained. kyriaki was looking from the egg to kazegen's once again tight asshole with a look of bewilderment on his face, but what he didn't notice was the egg wiggling slightly. the group continued their trek out of the woods when suddenly the egg burst open. kyriaki wheeled around and found himself face to face with araigen, covered in egg yolk and extremely pissed. "damn it kazegen" kyriaki said angrily. he ran around behind araigen hoping to land a ball kick from behind when he noticed that his ass, besides being red and sore from kazegen's tongue lashing, did not have a layer of crusted shit covering the asshole. a smirk formed on his face as he readied his anal annihilation kick. "HOLD HIM DOWN" kyriaki screamed. saigi and kazegen jumped on top of araigen and started punching him. he flailed around as kyriaki tried to line his foot up with araigen's dirty asshole. "HIS ASS SOMEONE HOLD HIS ASS STEADY" kyriaki screamed. kazegen began cockslapping araigen across the face while saigi grabbed onto araigen's ass and held it as steady as he could. kyriaki took a few steps back and used the extra distance to run forward and give his kick extra momentum. his foot went into araigen's ass with a squishing sound and araigen shrieked in pain. kyriaki slipped his foot out of his shoe and punched it deeper into araigen's rectum. araigen's eyes rolled up into his head and he flopped down onto the ground motionless. nial shakily walked over and poked araigen. "is he dead" he asked. kyriaki, who was putting on another shoe, said "not yet. right now he is merely stunned. however he will never be able to shit or receive anal sex ever again, so he's as good as dead. and he'll probably be in a lot of pain, especially since" he smirked and chuckled "i wear steel-toed shoes." he laughed and gave araigen a couple kicks to the crotch. "come on kyriaki he's no threat to us" saigi said sternly "and besides it's getting late. we don't want to be in these woods when it gets dark." kyriaki sighed and led the way out of the woods. after a half hour they managed to make their way out of the woods and found a large field of grass ahead of them. since the sun had gone down they decided to camp out here for the night and continue in the morning. they all stripped naked and laid in the cool grass. "saigi you remembered to go pee didn't you" kyriaki asked. "yeah i peed in araigen's eyes earlier" saigi said. "why don't you try going again just to be sure" said kyriaki. saigi groaned and got up as kyriaki closed his eyes. he felt a warm stream of liquid splashing all over his manboobs and opened his eyes. saigi was standing over him, wang in hand and giggling. "so you want a pee battle do ya" kyriaki said with a smirk. he reached down and gripped his wang. kyriaki shot a quick spurt of pee into saigi's left nostril and then hopped to his feet. "well if it isn't sharpshooter kyriaki" saigi said and wiped his nose. he spun his dick around and around and sprayed a spiraling piss stream onto kyriaki's fat belly. "fancy tricks eh? two can play at that game" said kyriaki. he covered his peehole with his index finger for a few seconds then released it. a high powered stream shot straight into saigi's forehead and sent him stumbling backwards, narrowly avoiding stepping on nial wrinkly old ballsack. nial let out a squeak and quickly stuffed his ballsack underneath himself. "so saigi what's your next move gonna be" kyriaki said, knowing saigi couldn't have too much piss left inside him. a wicked grin formed on saigi's face as he raised his left hand and snapped his fingers. kazegen stood up, walked over to kyriaki, and bent him over and held him still. "what's going on" kyriaki said but it all became clear to him when he felt his brother's wang slip between his asscheeks and inside his anus. he pretended to struggle a bit and then relaxed his body as he felt the warm liquid flowing inside his butt. "ohhhh yeah" kyriaki moaned. it felt so good and warm and relaxing after the hard battle with araigen. "sorry kyriaki all done" saigi said and pulled out his wang, causing some pee to spill out. his wang was covered in a combination of sweat, urine, and poop which he had kazegen lick off as a nice snack. kyriaki let the pee slowly seep out of his asshole and run down the back of his ballsack, which tickled slightly, when he saw a figure peeking at him from behind a tree. "alright who the fuck is out there" kyriaki called out. the figure ran out from behind the tree and rushed straight for kyriaki. with every footstep the ground seemed to shake because the person was very obese. after a few feet the person stopped to rest, doubling over and breathing very loudly, and kyriaki realized who it was. "serium you fat sack of shit what the fuck do you want" kyriaki asked, crossing his arms over his chest. serium waddled over to kyriaki and got real close to his face. his breath smelled of shit and his mustache hairs were matted with what appeared to be sweat and pee. kyriaki smacked him across the face and then punched him in the gut. "what the fuck dude" serium said, holding his stomach and starting to cry. "serium how long have you been out here in the woods" kyriaki asked. even in the darkness he could see that serium was a wreck. his face was unshaven and his cap had some shit streaks on it. he had some pretty big armpit stains and a very strong odor was wafting up from his crotch. kyriaki breathed it in deeply and kind of liked it, but he didn't let serium know that. "i've been out here since that day in the park last week" serium said "and let me tell you it hasn't been easy. i've been eating my own shit and drinking my own piss to survive. well sometimes i find some deer shit or something but mostly it's just mine." there was an awkward silence after this. "well we're going to serium's castle to kick his ass for destroying the royal shit museum" kyriaki said. "and to rescue the princess" said nial. "yeah if we have time. but you can't come with us serium so get the hell out of here" kyriaki said. serium's bottom lip trembled and his eyes began to tear up. "yeah like i'd want to hang out with a bunch of fags like you" serium said, wiping his eyes. he stared at them for a few seconds then, when no one said anything, ran off into the night. kyriaki flipped him off then flopped to the ground, ready for sleep. "where do you think he's going" saigi asked. "shut up i'm trying to sleep" kyriaki snapped and drifted off to sleep instantly. kyriaki was only a few inches tall and swimming around in a toilet with the water tinted yellow. the wonderul smell of stale urine filled his nostrils. he saw the lid of the toilet being lifted and then heard the sound of a belt buckle being undone and a zipper being pulled down. his heart was pounding as he saw a hairy ass plop itself down above him, a pair of testicles jiggling a bit just mere inches over his head. "come on" he whispered "push out some poop for old kyriaki." he stared intently at the asshole and listened to the rhythmic grunts of the giant seated on the toilet. the asshole pulsated a bit and then the turtle head of a shit log poked its way out. he felt the warm log of shit touch the top of his head and his boner grew rock hard. the asshole let out a fart and the shit plopped into the water. kyriaki crawled on top of the shit, happy it was a floater, and rolled around on it, covering himself with shit. then he got on his back and made shit angels. he burrowed deep inside the shit and found a piece of corn. he ate it and his mouth was overcome with a delicious burst of flavor that was so good it made him cum instantly. "YES" kyriaki screamed. his eyes opened and he found it was already daylight. he watched his dick shrink down to its normal flaccid size and played with the jizz that had landed on his stomach. it was at this moment he realized how incredibly hot it was. his balls stuck to the sides of his thighs and he was completely drenched in sweat. he noticed the others starting to wake up and quickly wiped the semen off his stomach saigi sat up and squeezed his mustache causing a bunch of sweat to pour out. "kyriaki it's hot" saigi said. "oh it is? gee i didn't notice that. i thought it was FUCKING FREEZING" kyriaki yelled and punched the ground. kyriaki like most obese people was not particularly fond of the heat. nial grabbed his cane and shakily stood to his feet. "my, the sun sure is angry today" he said. kyriaki looked up at the sky and sighed. there wasn't a cloud visible and the sun seemed somehow closer than usual. "well what's for breakfast" he asked saigi. saigi pulled out a couple cans of asparagus from his backpack. "these will give our piss more potency" he said, then turned to kazegen "and kazegen, if you'll come with me i'll prepare your breakfast too." he grabbed a newspaper and trotted off behind a tree, kazegen trailing happily after him. saigi and kazegen returned five minutes later, kazegen licking his lips. "alright let's get going" kyriaki said "it's hot so we'll continue on naked." nial strapped all the backpacks to his back and tried his best to keep up, but he kept lagging behind. "nial you have to keep up with us" kyriaki said. "master kyriaki perhaps you all could carry your backpacks this time" nial said, straining under the weight "it is ninety degrees and i am very elderly. a man my age shouldn't even be outside in these conditions, much less carrying several heavy backpacks." kyriaki had a pissed look on his face and was just about to yell something when a fireball fell down right next to his feet. "what the fuck" kyriaki said. he looked at saigi to see if he threw it but saigi was busy wiping down kazegen's ballsack. kyriaki and nial looked up at the sky and saw an incredible sight. the sun had an extremely pissed off face and it was looking straight at them. "nial do you see that" kyriaki asked. "i most certainly do master kyriaki" replied nial, trembling. the sun closed its eyes and scrunched up its face as though it were taking a shit and a fireball shot out from it, aiming at kyriaki. kyriaki dived out of the way but he wasn't quick enough; he felt some of his ass hairs burning. "oh you son of a bitch" kyriaki said angrily. he looked down at where the fireball landed and gasped. it wasn't a ball of fire at all, but flaming shit. "let's get the fuck out of here" kyriaki yelled. he grabbed nial and dragged him along as he motioned for saigi and kazegen to start running. "kyriaki what's wrong" saigi asked as he ran beside his brother. "well for one thing, the fucking sun is shooting flaming shitballs at us" kyriaki said. saigi looked over his shoulder and probably would have shat himself if he hadn't just shat minutes ago. "what did you do to make him so mad" saigi asked. "how the fuck could i piss off the sun?" kyriaki snapped back. nial tugged on his arm and kyriaki looked back. "master kyriaki could you please stop dragging me along the ground" he asked "my penis and testicles are getting some very uncomfortable friction burns." kyriaki nodded and then whistled to kazegen in front of him. kazegen slowed his pace until he was even with kyriaki, allowing kyriaki to fling nial onto his back. his genitals were very red with small pebbles stuck between the wrinkles of his ballsack. kyriaki winced but didn't have time to feel sympathetic as smelled another round of fireballs coming towards him. kyriaki had an idea, a very risky idea. "nial what do you think would happen if i killed the sun" he asked, knowing nial was the smartest one out of all of them. nial thought it over for a few seconds and said "now i can't be too certain master kyriaki but i have been pondering over whether or not that is the real sun that we know and love. i think this is some imposter sun, since the real sun doesn't have a face or shoots flaming feces balls, as i'm sure you know. my theory is that the angry sun, since it is closer to us than the real sun, is obscuring the real sun. we would probably be able to see the real sun if we went around the other side of the angry sun." kyriaki nodded although he wasn't really paying attention, and said "alright i'm gonna go fight him. reach into my backpack and pull out a balloon." nial dug into kyriaki's red backpack and pulled out an inflated yellow balloon with a white "P" on it. "what is this" he asked, handing it to kyriaki. "you'll see" kyriaki said. he untied the bottom of the p-balloon and breathed in the air inside. instantly his bladder began filling with so much urine it began to stretch to an enormous size, causing kyriaki's whole body to swell up. the special urine created by the power of the p-balloon made him light enough to float up in the air. saigi, kazegen, and nial could only watch as kyriaki floated higher and higher until he was level with the sun. the sun's expression of anger changed to surprise for a moment but then it quickly became pissed off once again. "alright sun it's time to go down" kyriaki said. "the forecast is calling for showers…golden showers" kyriaki said as he chuckled and shot out a high powered jet of piss into the angry sun's face. the sun screamed in agony as the piss began to put out its flames. it fired out more flaming shit balls but kyriaki aimed his piss stream at them to put them out before they hit him. the angry sun shrank as the piss began to put him out. his shrieks of pain became more high pitched the smaller he got and kyriaki giggled at how funny it sounded. "i'm melting, melting" kyriaki mocked. the angry sun was now half the size of kyriaki, and kyriaki was now deflated enough to reach down and grab his wiener to make aiming at the small sun easier. "any last words" he said, the sun now about the size of a watermelon. "yeah" the sun said in its funny high pitched voice "fuck you kyriaki you fucking fat fagg-" but he was unable to complete its final words as kyriaki doused it with piss. kyriaki released the rest of his piss slowly so that he gently lowered to the ground. by the time he made it to the ground he was back to his regular fat self. "you did it kyriaki" saigi yelled as he, kazegen, and nial ran over toward him. nial looked up at the sky "aha" he exclaimed "it seems i was correct in my assumption that the angry sun was just a false sun" but no one was paying any attention to him. kazegen was sniffing around kyriaki's dick and looking disappointed. "sorry kazegen but there's no more piss left" kyriaki said. "well let's get going guys" saigi said. kyriaki, happy to have killed another menace to society, nodded and led the group onward toward the ominous storm clouds hanging over a castle in the distance. "master kyriaki, do you suppose that castle in the distance belongs to serium" nial asked. "no nial" kyriaki said, rolling his eyes "i think that castle surrounded by flaming geysers and a lava moat and what appears to be an army of dan clones and ren clones couldn't possibly belong to serium. after all, we all know serium doesn't have fire or a huge army." nial sighed and continued to lug the heavy backpacks quietly. by noon they had traveled a considerable distance and were now close enough to smell the shitty stench of the dan clones and ren clones training outside the castle. kyriaki motioned everyone to hide behind a bush. "alright guys this is it" he said "they haven't noticed us yet which means we have the element of surprise on our side." he peeked through the leaves and watched two ren clones fighting over a pile of shit. "it looks to me like there's a good hundred or so ren clones and dan clones out there. we don't have enough time to take these fuckers on all at once so we're gonna have to draw them away from the castle. nial, get an egg from my backpack and gently hand it to me." nial handed the egg to kyriaki, who threw it as hard as he could away from the castle. the egg burst open as it landed on the ground, causing an explosion of very old and rancid shit. the ren clones and dan clones looked confused for a moment until the smell hit them. they scrambled around wildly and headed toward the shit. "nial hand me another one" kyriaki said. nial handed kyriaki another shit egg. kyriaki surveyed the chaos for a moment before yelling "RUN RUN RUN." kazegen grabbed nial and they took off running toward the castle. a few dan clones noticed them and started moving toward them, fangs bared and letting out their shrill cries. kyriaki tossed the shit egg behind them and they turned around to get the shit. kyriaki smirked and let out a "heh". they crossed the lava moat and shoved open the door, finding themselves face to face with a pair of hammer brothers. the hammer brothers were surprised for a moment but quickly got over it and began throwing their hammers at kyriaki and company, aiming at their exposed ballsacks. kyriaki was getting pissed. there was no time to deal with these motherfuckers. he grabbed a hammer in midair and tossed it back at the hammer brother, aiming at his balls as well. the hammer brother managed to move his hips to the right quick enough to cause his ballsack to sway far enough and avoid being hit by the hammer. he began to toss his hammers faster now but kyriaki continued to catch them and toss them back. the hammer brother was starting to look worried as it danced around trying to avoid the hammers kyriaki was throwing. after about a minute kyriaki finally succeeded in hitting the brother square in the balls. it screeched in pain before falling to the ground unconscious. kyriaki sighed and wiped the sweat from his forehead and then from his ballsack, and turned to see how the others were doing. kyriaki was surprised to see that the others were doing alright; in fact they had the hammer brother subdued. nial was sitting on top of him to keep him from getting up while saigi twisted the hammer brother's testicles and kazegen pissed on his face. kyriaki winced and grabbed his balls as the hammer brother cried and screamed before its limbs and dick went limp. "how'd you guys do that" kyriaki asked. "well since my balls are small the hammer brother had trouble hitting them" saigi explained "and i used that advantage to get close enough to push him on his back. i had nial sit on him so he wouldn't be able to get up while i twisted his balls. kazegen was just pissing on him for fun." kyriaki high-fived kazegen and motioned for them to follow him through the next door. kyriaki reached for the doorknob but then stopped. a thought occurred to him: their ballsacks were in too much danger. dangling freely between their legs, they were prime targets for hammers or even worse. "everyone get dressed" he ordered "we need to protect are ballsacks." saigi and nial quickly complied but kazegen was beginning to cry. kyriaki zipped up his overalls and walked over to kazegen. "sorry kazegen but you're just gonna have to be careful and watch out" he said. after making sure that no one had any visible testicles he opened the door and gasped at what he saw and smelled. squatting in a corner at the back of the room was none other than serium, taking a shit and surprised at the sudden entrance of kyriaki and the others. "what the fuck are you doing here" kyriaki and serium said at the same time. serium smirked and farted. "well after you told me to go away the other day i did just that. i came all the way to serium's castle here and told him that you were on your way." kyriaki was pissed now. he felt like ripping serium's dick off and shoving it down his throat, then waiting for serium to shit out and shoving it back up his ass. "yep i'm part of serium's crew now" serium said with an evil grin, noticing kyriaki's rising anger. "i'm his right hand man." his eyes moved to a red door on the wall and kyriaki realized it must be the door to serium. he sprinted to the door but serium threw a chunk of shit from his ass in front of kyriaki, causing him to slip and fall backwards. kyriaki cursed under his breath. he hadn't come here to fight serium but it seems as though he'll have to fight him in order to get to serium. he got to his feet and turned to the others. "saigi, kazegen, let's kick some ass." saigi and kazegen ran over and joined kyriaki. "whoa whoa whoa, hold the phone" serium said worriedly "three against one? that isn't fair." kyriaki just glared at him and then turned to saigi and kazegen. "alright guys here's the plan" kyriaki said "i'll attack from the front since i'm the strongest. saigi, you're a good jumper so you'll attack from above. kazegen, you attack serium from the rear. got it?" saigi and kazegen nodded and moved into position. kazegen ran around behind serium and began steadying his hardening cock as saigi jumped into the air and came down above serium with a hard kick, while kyriaki ran at serium and aimed a punch into his gut. serium could only stand there as all three of their attacks landed at once. serium groaned and slumped to the ground unconscious. "serium was never a good fighter" kyriaki said. he turned to the red door that marked the entrance to serium's room. "that motherfucker's going down" he said. he walked to the door, pulled back his arm, and punched it. the door instantly crumbled to the ground. "serium WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU" he screamed from the empty doorway. "kyriaki!" a woman's voice called out. kyriaki turned and saw them. princess michi, with a chain attached to the wall around her neck like a leash, was sitting naked on her hands and knees, tears in her eyes. and next to her, sitting on a throne with a cigar in his smirking mouth, was the king koopa himself. "well now, if it isn't kyriaki and friends" said serium, taking a puff from his cigar and blowing smoke rings into the air. "serium you're gonna pay for what you've done" kyriaki yelled. "oh don't worry about the princess. i haven't raped her too hard yet" serium said. "i'm not here for the princess" kyriaki said. michi gasped and began to silently weep. "i'm here to kick your ass for destroying the shit museum." serium chuckled and flicked the ashes of his cigar onto michi's face. "i should have known. but if it's a fight you want then so be it." he stood to his feet. kyriaki, saigi, and kazegen walked into the middle of the room. kyriaki cracked his knuckles. saigi adjusted his crotch. kazegen fiddled around with his dick. serium met them in the middle of the room and blew some smoke into kyriaki's face. the fight was on. kyriaki jumped up and kicked serium in the chest with both his feet. serium toppled over backwards as kyriaki backflipped off of him. saigi aimed a punch at serium's balls but serium kicked him away and withdrew into his shell. kazegen wrapped his tongue around serium and tossed him into a wall. the spikes of his shell dug deep into the wall and when he came out of his shell he realized he was stuck. kyriaki dashed over and began one-two punching serium repeatedly in the balls. serium roared in pain but despite it all he managed to quickly grow a boner and smack kyriaki away with it. kyriaki staggered backwards a few steps and rubbed the side of his face where it had smacked him. "what amazing penis control he has" he said to himself "i was punching him in the balls but he managed to get an erection. this is not going to be an easy battle." serium planted his hands and feet on the wall and pushed hard. the wall broke and he was free. he picked up his cigar from the floor and stuck it back in his mouth, taking a long drag from it. "well kyriaki i see you guys still like to fight dirty" he said, rubbing his balls and glaring angrily at kyriaki "but you seem to have forgotten i have balls stronger than those of you weak little humans." but while he was talking kazegen was sneaking up behind him. he reached between serium's legs and gently gripped one of his ball hairs and looked at kyriaki. kyriaki winked at him, the signal to go ahead and pull. "what the fuck" serium yelled "don't wink at me you little fa—YEOWW!" serium screamed as kazegen plucked out the ball hair. kazegen jumped up and wang slapped serium a couple times in the face, then landed on the ground and headbutted him in the nads. serium doubled over in pain and kazegen wrapped his tongue around serium's neck, tightening it and choking him. serium frantically pulled at the tongue but it was to no avail. a kazegen's tongue cannot be pulled off of anything. he began to flail his arms about, clawing at the air until he managed to slash kazegen in the chest. kazegen cried out in pain and reeled in his tongue. serium grabbed kazegen and threw him to the other side of the room, then threw back his head and roared loud. the room began to shake and bits of rock fell from the ceiling. "calm the fuck down" kyriaki yelled. serium turned his head to kyriaki's direction with a look of extreme pissed off-ness and his cigar burst into flames. "uh nevermind" kyriaki said quietly. "you know what kyriaki" serium said in an oddly calm voice "you've been a thorn in my side long enough. a pain in my ass. a tick on my dick. but now i'm going to kill you once and for all." "over my dead body" kyriaki said. serium grinned evilly and jumped in the air, then came down hard on his ass. a large crack spread across the room between kyriaki's feet and branched out before parts of the floor crumbled down, revealing a sea of lava below and leaving only small platforms to stand on. kyriaki managed to jump onto a platform but saigi was not as lucky. "AHHHH OW OW OW OW" he heard saigi scream. he looked over his shoulder to see saigi hopping out of the lava with his ass on fire. he landed on solid ground and quickly patted his ass to put out the fire. "you okay bro" kyriaki asked. "well i'll live" saigi said, looking down at his charred and smoking ass. "sit the rest of this fight out saigi" kyriaki said "i can handle serium myself." saigi looked uneasy but nodded none the less, then reached into his pocket. "take this kyriaki" he said "it's the last one." he tossed a fire flower over to kyriaki. "thanks bro" he said with a grin, and reached into his overalls and stuck it up his ass. an aura of flames briefly surrounded him as the power of the flower activated. "you think you can take me on, one on one?" serium asked. "damn right" kyriaki said. he jumped in the air, kicked off the wall and flew above serium. serium took in a deep breath and aimed his mouth at kyriaki. smoke rose from his nostrils as flames rose from deep in his throat. he shot a torrent of flames straight at kyriaki, knowing full well that kyriaki would not be able to dodge the flames in midair. kyriaki quickly flipped himself around so that his ass faced serium. he stuck his hand near his ass and made a fireball while simultaneously ripping a huge fart. the fart ignited, turning his asshole into a makeshift flamethrower. "been holdin this baby in all day" kyriaki said. his flames collided with serium's flames in midair, but kyriaki's farty flames proved to be more powerful than serium's. serium became engulfed in flames and screamed in agony. "ingenious" nial remarked from the sidelines with saigi "how clever he was to combine the firepower with the fartpower." "nah" saigi said "he does this sort of thing all the time at home." serium fell down to his knees, burnt and smoldering. "his fart" he muttered "how could his fart be so powerful." kyriaki landed in front of serium and punched him in the face and kneed him in the nads. he pulled his overalls down and rubbed his ass down serium's face, leaving a big sweaty poop mark. serium could only groan and take his punishment. he fell flat on his stomach and grabbed his balls. his poor, aching balls. "any last words before you die" kyriaki said. "yeah i got one" serium said. he looked up into kyriaki's eyes, snorted deeply and hocked a big old loogie straight onto kyriaki's nose. kyriaki's face turned red. "well i was just going to kill you quickly but i guess now it's gonna hurt." kyriaki cracked his knuckles as he looked down at serium, sending out little sparks with each crack. "i'm gonna burn you a new asshole" he said in a low voice. he grabbed serium and shoved his fist down his throat and released a hard blast of flames that shot straight through his digestive tract and out his anus. serium flailed around as molten shit seeped from between the flames coming out of his asshole. he bit down on kyriaki's wrist but that didn't stop him from steadily increasing the amount of fire he was outputting, slowly causing serium's asshole to burn bigger and bigger. serium grabbed his dick and tried desperately to aim his piss onto his asshole in order to put out the flames but it was to no avail. twenty minutes later kyriaki removed his hand from serium's throat. "so serium do you have anything you'd like to say before i kill you" kyriaki said. "yeah i have something i'd like to say: FUCK Y'ALL" he screamed. "i see" kyriaki said quietly. he bent down and grabbed serium's dick with one hand and began stroking it. "hey what the fuck are you doing" serium growled, his dick hardening. kyriaki continued stroking it for five minutes until serium was on the verge of cumming, then suddenly he gripped serium's dick firmly with both hands and, with a sickening squishy crunching sound, snapped it in half. serium howled in pain as a mixture of blood and semen dribbled out of his now "L"-shaped penis. across the room saigi and nial winced and reflexively grabbed their own dicks. kyriaki looked down on the bawling, shrieking serium with a look of pity on his face. sure it was serium's boner he had just broken, but even serium didn't deserve pain such as this. "alright time to put you out of your misery" kyriaki said solemnly. he grabbed serium by the dick and, using it as a sort of handle, started pulling serium in a circle. serium's body dragged on the ground until kyriaki built up enough speed to lift his body into the air. kyriaki spun and spun, building up more speed until at last he let go of serium's dick, tossing him out over the lava. "so long, gay serium" kyriaki yelled. serium landed in the lava and let out a high pitched screech as his skin began to burn and melt off. soon all that remained of serium was his bent dick sticking out of the lava. for a moment there was complete silence, then saigi began to cheer, kazegen began to jack off, and nial jumped up and down. "master kyriaki did it!" nial shouted "master kyriaki defeated king serium!" kyriaki pumped his fist into the air and jumped up. "FUCK YEAH BITCHES" he screamed. he jumped over to the others and exchanged high fives and pats on the butt. "we've finally done it, brother" saigi said, a single tear falling out of his eye and being absorbed into his mustache "after all these years we've finally finished off serium." kyriaki nodded and patted saigi on the shoulder. "come on guys, let's go home" he said and began walking out the door. "wait don't go" called a voice from the other side of the room. kyriaki whirled around and formed a fireball in his hand and was about to throw it when he realized it was only the princess. "oh yeah i knew i forgot something" kyriaki said. kyriaki sighed and made his way over to the princess. using his firepower he melted the metal of the chain and the princess was free. "kyriaki!" she cried in joy, hugging and kissing him. kyriaki pushed her away and took a step back. "you're naked. don't touch me" he said, brushing off the parts of his clothes where her boobs and pussy had touched him. michi looked upset for a moment then sighed and rolled her eyes. kyriaki grabbed her hand and pulled her back to the others with him. "oh my" nial said as she joined them, blushing. kazegen was staring at michi's vagina with a look of fear on his face, memories of naya flooding back into his mind. "don't worry kazegen" kyriaki said to him "this one's safe." kazegen smiled weakly and allowed the princess to sit on his back. "alright everyone let's get the hell outta here" kyriaki said. late that night they arrived back at IZ town, capital of the mushroom kingdom. "it's so quiet and dark" whispered michi. "that's because it's fucking midnight" kyriaki snapped. he was cranky because they had been walking for hours and nial had forbidden them from masturbating in front of the princess. they made their way to the center of the city where michi's castle once stood. it was now a mess of rubble and dead IZ. "home sweet home, eh michi?" kyriaki said, poking a rather plump, naked, dead IZ in the ass with the tip of his shoe. "come princess, we must visit your father at once and inform him of your arrival" nial said. he turned to kyriaki and added "you three may come as well." kazegen squealed and began rubbing his dick but kyriaki punched him in the back of the head. "not that kind of come" he said. nial led them to a house situated next to the fallen castle and knocked on the door. the door opened and king IZtool stood in the doorway, rubbing his eyes and yawning. kyriaki noticed a porn video that was paused on his television set. "my king" nial said, bowing "we have rescued your daughter from serium." with that the king perked up and, after laying his eyes on his naked daughter, so did his cock. "my daughter has returned to me unharmed" he said, hugging michi. kyriaki saw his dick go right into michi's pussy. michi let out a moan but then they quickly stopped hugging, glancing away from each other. "y-yes" stammered the king "come in everybody and tell me about this whole ordeal." they started walking in to the room with the television but he quickly pointed them into a different room and tried to block it from their view. and so kyriaki and friends told the king about their whole adventure. they mentioned the fight with araigen, the scuttle with the angry sun, sneaking past serium's army, fighting the ball-busting battle with the hammer bros, and facing serium himself, leaving the king sitting on the edge of his seat, especially when michi tearfully began telling them about how serium brutally raped her and forced her to eat her own shit. "well michi" he said after he had excused himself to the bathroom for ten minutes "you'll have to tell me more about your experiences later. right now i think we've all had long hard day. we'll get some rest and have a celebration tomorrow." the king walked michi to her bedroom and then shoved kyriaki, saigi, nial, and kazegen out the door. "sorry fellows but there's no room for you here" he said, then tossed a few blankets out. they slept in the cold night air in the king's front yard, kyriaki using nial as a pillow and saigi resting his head on kazegen's balls. kyriaki awoke with a start early that morning to the king's sprinklers turning on and shooting a cold jet of water directly into his crotch. "LET ME AT HIM" he kept yelling as it took the combined efforts of saigi, kazegen, and nial to keep him from going after the king. after kyriaki had finally calmed down they went inside to get some breakfast. "good morning gentlemen" said the king, sitting at the breakfast table and reading the newspaper. he glanced at kyriaki's wet crotch "kyriaki i have bushes in my yard you know." kyriaki muttered under his breath and grabbed a fistful of bacon and shoved it in his mouth. princess michi walked out of her room to join them, now fully clothed. when breakfast was finished they all walked down to the town square where king IZtool was to give his speech. the king walked up to his podium in the center of the city facing a huge crowd of IZ. "my citizens" he began, hushing the chattering crowd instantly "this past week a terrible tragedy occurred within the city of IZ town as i'm sure you all know. the princess's castle was destroyed and she was kidnapped by king serium. when all hope seemed lost one brave group of heroes stepped out from the shadows and took this matter into their own hands. i give you kyriaki, saigi, and kazegen." the crowd erupted in cheers and applause as the three of them stood up and joined the king. nial was yelling something but it was lost in the deafening roar of the IZ cheering and pulling their cocks out. "please keep your cocks securely within your pants" the king said "there will be plenty of time for that after the speech. thank you. and without further ado kyriaki has a few words he would like to say." he stepped back and allowed kyriaki to stand in front of the microphone. "thank you king IZtool" kyriaki said. he cleared his throat and scratched his ass. he was never one to make big speeches. "yeah so i kicked serium's ass and now he's dead" he said simply, and that was all that needed to be said. with that the IZ tore off their clothes and began singing and dancing and masturbating and buttfucking, and this time there was no stopping them. the king sighed. "the street sweepers are gonna have to work overtime to take care of this mess" he said. kyriaki watched the IZ for a couple minutes, then turned away and nudged saigi and kazegen. "let's go home" he said "our work here is done." ONE YEAR LATER. there was a knock on the door, which kyriaki walked over to answer. he opened the door to see princess michi and a baby carriage. "sup michi" said kyriaki. "hello kyriaki. i hope i'm not late." "nah" he said. he looked in the carriage and smiled at the baby. he had a green shell growing out of his back and two horns sticking out of the sides of his head. he had strands of red hair starting to grow out of his head and sharp claws on his fingers and toes. "and how's little mussolini doing?" kyriaki said. "he's been a little cranky lately since his fangs are starting to come in" michi sighed. "so is everyone out back?" "yeah" kyriaki said "saigi's barbecuing some burgers. i'll be out as soon as i get the sauce." kyriaki opened the door to kazegen's room and walked up to his litter box where a coil of shit laid, attracting flies. kyriaki bent down and held his hand a few inches from it and nodded approvingly; it was still warm. in order to make his special hamburger sauce, the shit has to be fresh so that it isn't too hard and crunchy, and only kazegen shit may be used. human shit is too bland and IZ shit is too sugary. he grabbed the shit, brushed some litter off, and plopped it in a small pot filled with pee that had been sitting overnight. then he shook some salt and pepper on it and squirted some ketchup in and stirred it up for five minutes. "delicious" kyriaki said after having a taste of the final concoction "aging the piss overnight definitely helps bring out the full flavor of the feces." he grabbed the pot and took it out back. kyriaki brought the pot over to the barbecue where saigi was tending to the burgers. saigi stuck his finger in the sauce and licked it. "very good. thanks bro" he said, and began to slather it on the burgers. kyriaki looked out into the yard at all the guests having a good time. nial was sitting on a stump, holding a twig and telling a group of mesmerized IZ children about how kyriaki had beaten serium. "…and then he grabbed serium's penis with both hands, one at the base and the other below the head like this, and snapped the thing in half!" he snapped the twig and the children screamed and ran away, holding their little penises as if they were worried that theirs too would be snapped in half. farther back the princess was breastfeeding baby mussolini and wincing as his fang bit down on her nipple. other miscellaneous people were doing things too. "alright everyone the burgers are done" saigi announced. there was a sudden rush to be the first one to get to the burgers and kyriaki's famous sauce. once everyone had gotten their burgers kyriaki shouted for everyone to shut up so he could say something. "well guys it's been one year exactly since i kicked serium's ass and sent him to hell." everyone began cheering but kyriaki raised his hand and they all stopped. "yeah it was pretty cool, i know. but anyway, just think about all i've done for the kingdom. i rescued that bitch of a princess like a million times. uh no offense michi" he added, seeing the glare the princess was giving him. "hell just think of all the things i did last year. i rescued you all from naya and his insane prices. i got that faggot serium locked up in jail" officer umeko and officer takehiko tipped their hats at kyriaki "and then kicked his ass later after he escaped jail and teamed up with serium. i pissed out a fucking sun. i ended a twenty year rivalry with my mortal enemy araigen. and of course i killed serium." "what the hell is your point" someone yelled. "my burger's getting cold!" "my point" said kyriaki "is that i'm fucking awesome." and with that he whistled for kazegen and the two of them began to walk into the house. "wait a minute kyriaki where are you going" asked saigi. kyriaki looked over his shoulder back at saigi. "i gotta take a shit." THE END.